What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

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How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

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women's rights.

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There are four dead people on a boat. They commit suicide. Why did they commit suicide. To get to the other side!

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Little Jimmy has 100 candy bars, and he eats 95 of them. What dies little Jimmy have? Diabetes

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What'd the Jew get for Christmas? Nothing. He's Jewish, remember?

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Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

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What did the explorer say to the new species Oh look it says squirtle let's call it squirtle Oh look it say woof let's call it poochyena

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I hate chocolate. I hate it so much. It sickens me. The only thing I hate more than chocolate is people that like chocolate. I hate them even more. Do you know what happened to the last person I met that liked chocolate? NOTHING

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So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

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LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as this could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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I didn't choose the thug life... I got a job.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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who is gay and sits next to me in my architecture class? James and austin!!!!

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how do you get all the people in ireland out of their homes? roll a potato down the road. how do you find the richest person in ireland? you find the one who got the patato

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Why did the baby die? Because he was shot in the hea repeatedly

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Knock knock Who's there? 7. And if that's you in there, 6, you better start praying.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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