What was the reason for the confused looking woman staring at the can of frozen Apple juice for twenty minutes? Some cans are difficult to open: The little ring bit comes off when you pull it, and then you have to work out a new way to open it, which takes patience and ingenuity.

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How do you stop a baby from flying? Hit it with a shovel.

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What happens when you throw a penny between two Jewish men? Probably nothing, but one of them might pick it up and ask if you have dropped a penny.

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Why can't Michael J. Fox draw a perfect circle? Because no human can.

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What's green and falls fom a tree? A dump truck. I lied about it being green.

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A woman comes to the doctor with a dog and the doctor says: -What are you doing here, dog? Get the hell out of here, you're an animal.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a piece of coal? The coal doesn't scream when you burn it.

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What do you call a car that is green? A Green Car.

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What do you call a white guy with a taller black woman? A man in a deeply committed relationship.

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What's the difference between George W Bush and a doorknob? George W Bush is the president of the United States. A doorknob is a mechanical device that securely closes a hinged door, thereby keeping your family safe from danger.

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Why was the construction worker crying? Because do to the failing economy, he was recently let go from his job, and he is mortified by the idea of being unable to find work and ending up homeless and unable to fend for his family.

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A man stumbles across a magic lamp. He doesn't believe in genies, so he sells it for profit on the antiquarian market.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? James. James who? James from work. Oh, come on in.

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Why did the car get out of bed? Because the person who owned the car was a total freak and put the car into a bed.

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What do you call a Black pilot? A pilot! What else would you call him, racist!

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What do you say to a man, who calls you 3 AM? - "Hello!"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He was very mad at his mother, so he ran away, and, on the other side of the road, he saw a ver luxurious chicken coop. In other words, duh.

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If frogs weren't alive, there wouldn't be any frogs left on earth.

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There was a mexican man and a chinese man, They walked into a bomb shop and bought three bombs, then left.

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What do you get when you mix a racoon and a human. A Smoothie

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What do you call an art history major with a job? A gainfully employed member of society, who assuredly benefited from his access to higher education. It is also possible that he was chosen for the position because of acquaintances or family members who were also employed by the company, but many people would consider it impolite to bring up this possibility, as it might be construed as denigrating the aforementioned individual or his chosen field of study.

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What would you if I slapped you in the face with a fish? Unless you are a push-over, it is likely that you would retaliate with anger.

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You

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


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