When is a door not a door? When your burns down.

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How do you drown a blonde? Well there are a few ways, including holding her head underwater until she passes out and then leaving her in the pool.

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How do you make an electrician cry? You kidnap him and his mother, tie them both to chairs in your garage, and force him to watch you stab his mother repeatedly in the face while laughing and licking up her blood and tears. Then cut his arms and legs off, lock him in a cage with his mothers body, and go in there everyday and eat a delicious meal while watching him starve to death next to his dead mother.

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Why did suzy fall of the swing? -she had no arms... Why couldn't she get back up? -she had no friends

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what did the caterpillar say to the butterfly? Im gonna turn into you.

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Q: What do you call an underground train full of professors? A: It's very unlikely that the passengers on an underground train would consist entirely of professors, unless it was a special service booked solely for the attendees of highly specialised lectures which required each audience member to have completed a professorship.

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What did Annie the Orphan get for Christmas? News that her parents are dead.

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What's the difference between an ostridge? It can neither fly.

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Q: What Would You Call Someone Who is 6 Foot and hairy. Answer: By His Or Her Name.

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Whats sad about 4 black people in a Cadillac going off a cliff? A Caddy fits five.

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Knock Knock Come in.

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what did the stop sign say to the car? nothing.

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Two men were walking down the street. All of a sudden, the first man turns to the second and pulls out his hands of 4 fingers each. The second man shows his hand of 6 fingers each. What does this show about them? Together they have 20 fingers total.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because Suzy had no arms.

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Where's my baby??

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The anti joke that repeats itself :(

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Knock knock. Who's there. Alex. Alex who? Your brother Alex. Oh, please come in.

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Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I have AIDS we're dying together

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A man walked into a lampost. He hurt himself.

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How do you say "Hello" in India? 1. Get a plane ticket and fly to India 2. Say Hello in India

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Whats 10 times worse than a war? Ten wars.

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Why was maddison sad Becasue he was born with a fucking gay name

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why did the man leave the restaurant? because he was done with his meal

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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