If the blue man lives in the blue house, the red man lives in the red house and the green man lives in the green house, where does the orange man live? In the orange house.

Is the boy sleeping? No, he's dead!

Life is like a box of chocolates! It sucks if you have diabetes

yo mamas so old she probably ralises the greater risk of breast cancer in middle age women.

whats the difference between a black guy and and an asian person... who cares kill them both

What's black and hangs from a rope on a tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

A young baby died.

Where did the little boy go after the explosion? Everywhere.

Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She had no arms. *knock knock* -Who's there? -Not Suzy.

roses are red violets are blue i have a big dick unlike you

knock knock whose there the hospital staff your mom just died of AIDS

Papa Smurf: Why did the chicken cross the road? Grouchy Smurf: I hate chickens!

What's Brown and dirty? Dirt

Why did the duck eat the chicken noodle soup? The duck was told that if he ate the chicken noodle soup on Fear Factor he would win $10,000. What he failed to realize was that he forgot to sign page 16 on the episode contract and did not win any money and was sued by Campbell's soup for copyright infringement.

laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer...you will die

Why did the New York Times cancel Otis Redding's subscription? Because he died.

Why was Jessica sad? She had just recently run over a few newborn puppies with her car.

What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

What is the difference between a dead baby and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage.

Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

Darkness Falls Across The Land The Midnite Hour Is Close At Hand Creatures Crawl In Search Of Blood To Terrorize Y'awl's Neighbourhood And Whosoever Shall Be Found Without The Soul For Getting Down Must Stand And Face The Hounds Of Hell And Rot Inside A Corpse's Shell The Foulest Stench Is In The Air The Funk Of Forty Thousand Years And Grizzy Ghouls From Every Tomb Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom And Though You Fight To Stay Alive Your Body Starts To Shiver For No Mere Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of The Thriller

If you have ten apples, and I take away three, then you will only have seven apples left, because ten minus three is seven. On the other hand, if I have a hundred apples, and you take away ninety-six, then I will call the police on you because that is stealing and it is not allowed.

What happened to the kid who couldn't swim? He drowned.

Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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