happy birthday! Its not my birthday! Oh i just assumed from your smell. That doesn't make much sense does it? It does. No it doesnt. Are you sure? Yes. Oh. Do i smell? Like chickens. Oh. I wish i were alive. What? Bobbing for apples? what? You smell like a toilet seat. Fine! You never spend time with me any more! I dont like you! oh. you know who nobody likes? Who? amanda burchell.

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Bitch please, you're adopted as well.

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A priest, a rabbi and a proctologist walk into a bar. Why is there a bar lying in the middle of the sidewalk?

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Why was the old man on the floor? He fell

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse, incapable of understanding the human language promptly shits on the floor then leaves.

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what is the difference between a black person and a little boy with autism .... the boy with autism is smarter with more education than the black person

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Penis

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A man walks into a bar and orders a water. He then drinks his water and leaves. The following day he returns to the bar and again orders a water. He repeats this for many days until finally one day the bartender asks him why he comes every day to just drink water. The man replies, "Water is free. I got laid off from my job last week. Rough economy, you know." The bartender starts charging him for water, and the man becomes homeless.

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Man 1: Nock-nock Man 2: Please leave my place of residence

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Today is May 18 2016.

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Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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What do you think JFK would be doing if he was alive today? Yelling for help and trying to somehow escape his coffin.

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your momma is so fat she eats a lot of things

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Whats worst than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being stabbed.

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How do you call a man in a wheelchair? Disabled.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license. She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys could get your act together. Just yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it to you."

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The Female Orgasm

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why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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A blind was staring at a girls ass. Her boyfriend promptly bludgeoned the man unaware of his illness.

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because it thought that it would somehow increase its chances of survival.

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Chocolate makes everything better, except obesity.

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Why did the police officer arrest the baseball player? He raped and murdered a thirteen year old girl.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a WAFFLE!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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