What's louder than a cat stuck in a tree? A foghorn.

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whats red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

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What should you do when your refrigerator is running? Tell it to FREEZE!

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what does brb mean? ...be right back? ...ok hurry i need to know the answer.

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What's the difference between a Corvette and a sack of dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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In 1284, while the town of Hamelin was suffering from a rat infestation, a man dressed in pied clothing appeared, claiming to be a rat-catcher. He loyally promised the townsmen a solution for their problem with the rats. The townsmen in appreciation and glad to get rid of the infestation promised to pay him for the removal of the rats, they were looking forward to being left in peace. The man pleased with their decision accepted, and played a mystical musical pipe to lure the rats with a joyous song into the Weser River, where all but one drowned. Despite his renowned success, the people reneged on their promise and refused to pay the rat-catcher the full amount of money. The man left the town angry and upset the people had betrayed his kindness, he did however vow to return some time later, seeking revenge. On Saint John and Paul's day while the inhabitants were happily sat in church, he played his pipe yet again, dressed in green, like a hunter, this time attracting the young and joyful children of Hamelin. One hundred and thirty boys and girls followed him out of the town, skipping in song as they went, where they were lured into a cave. The events that followed are now known as the 1284 mass child massacrer, in which all 130 children were raped and savagely tortured and killed one by one, each viscously taped and recorded for the pipe pipers satisfaction, where a copy of each tape was sent to their corresponding parents, this was before their bodies turned up dangling from a tree and the bottom of the village, all 130 of them unrecognisable from decomposition and mutilation the pipe piper had inflicted.

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What do you do with a dead black man? Respect his final wishes and provide him with proper funeral services.

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What do you call a black person on a bike? A cyclist.

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Why did the police officer arrest the baseball player? He raped and murdered a thirteen year old girl.

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Why are pineapples yellow? 82, piano, bomb, lamp!

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why can't helen keller drive? Because she is deaf and blind.

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[Insert dumb, last minute anti-joke here]

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What's black and hangs from a tree? A bat.

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A blonde, a Brunette and a Redhead walk into a bar. They all buy a drink and talk about their days.

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Hey, have you heard the one about the elf and the watermelon? Neither have I.

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What did the farmer say when he couldnt find his tractor? "Wheres my tractor?"

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hi do you like guitars? cool i dont

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What's worse than being raped? Being raped twice.

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What's brown and dirty? Dirt.

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Luckily Captain America was able to rescue Hitler just before he was trapped in the ice for many years... Thanks to his brave efforts the war continued many more years! Captain America under ice: Why do I get the feeling I did something wrong? Hmm... 30 years later Cap: DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMNNNNNN!!!!!! Moral: On ice, tickets sold out... no clothing required, ladies only, None under 16!

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Women.

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What does a black guy do to a white girl when the lights go off and there's a bed in the room? They go to sleep so they can have enough energy to work their two jobs and provide for their family after they've been evicted from their home.

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What Can't You See and Stinks A Fart.

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I can count to potato.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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