What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor.

How many chairs does it take to screw a lightbulb? One, if you have enough lube.

there is a mexican and a black guy in the back of a car, who is driving? The cop

in soviet russia, cow milks you

What does a dyslexic person do on sundays? Goes to church to pray to Dog

Why was the little girl crying? Her parents got divorced yesterday.

A baby seal walks into a club.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a load of bread.

I like to use vasoline during sex. I put it on the doorknob so she can't escape.

A man walks into a bar and starts telling anti-jokes to his friend. His friend is a follower and laughs even though they aren't funny.

Why didn't the blonde eat bacon? She was Jewish, and it was against her religion.

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? It's hard to say, as this number depends on a large number of factors including the average area covered by one lick, the pH of saliva, the solubility of Tootsie Pops, the temperature of both the saliva and the Tootsie Pop, and the amount of saliva deposited on the Tootsie Pop after each lick. This is not to mention all the manufacturing irregularities that may occur during production, and varying tongue shapes and solvency properties of saliva.

roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

♪ It's raining. It's pouring. ♪ The old man caught pneumonia and died....

Knock knock! who's there? Excuse me sir can I have a moment to talk to you about our lord and savior Jesus Christ?

So in Jimmy's school if u are misbehaving u are asked to get out of the room. Jimmy was in science, and he was throwing paper a bunch. Then his science teacher says, "Jimmy, do u wanna go out?" Jimmy replies "No thanks, I'm 14 and i have a girlfriend." That's how Jimmy got detention.

How many Jews can you fit into a car? How ever many seats happen to be available.

Your mommas so fat, that she's really big.

Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? To get to the other side.

if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

What do you say to a cashier? How much is it?

Two black men go inside a movie theater. They sit down and watch the movie.

What did one ocean say to the other ocean, nothing it just waved

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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