A man walks into a bar and starts telling anti-jokes to his friend. His friend is a follower and laughs even though they aren't funny.

A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

How do you get babys to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them

What do a Penguin, and your best friend have in common? They'll both die if you shoot them in the head.

Your mum is so overweight, she is at risk of heart disease, I highly recommend she visits her GP.

So a dog walks into a bar.. well thats not true as most bars do not allow dogs.. oh..sorry.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why did the boy lose his watch? Who cares? It was a shitty-ass watch.

I hate it when I try to put my gun on safety but I accidentally shoot u a school full of kid.

How many Jews can you fit into a 1968 Caddy? 1 in the front, 2 in the back, and 200 in the ash tray.

Q. What was the the cancer's patients favorite song? A. Radioactive

What is Santa's favorite color? Blue

Did you hear about the absent minded professor that tried to change the tire on his pickup truck? He forgot to lock the jack and the truck crushed his head like and egg shell.

ati jokes are not to be funny. what about u

why did the chicken cross the road? he was an escaped mental paitent

If there are 50 bricks on an airplane, and 3 fall off, how many are left? It does not matter how many are left, however, the 3 falling bricks pose a serious safety threat and more should have occurred to properly secure the bricks from falling from the aircraft.

Q.Why did the chicken cross the road? A.Because it escaped from the farm.

"I can sell this watch for $500 dollars on the black market!" Well, you could sell your liver for $500 dollars on the black market too.

Q: What's the difference between a duck? A: An orange.

What do yo get when you cross an insomniac,an agnostic, and a dyslexic. A very troubled man.

melon

Why Didn't jeff go to school yesterday? He was dead.

Q:where did the little kid go? A:wait, before or after i killed him

Did you hear about the kidnapping in Pennsylvania? He woke up...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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