why did the monkey fall out of the tree? because it was dead why did the dog fall out of the tree? because it was attached to the monkey

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When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he does it the same way everybody else does.

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Kid- "Where do babies come from?" Mom- *Commits Suicide*

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What do you call somebody pimping out their bitches for very large amounts of money???? A dog breeder.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? You shove her off the bed

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Yesterday I was diagnosed with Depression... It made me sad.

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What do you call a beagle and an eagle mixed together? A beagle.

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A boy bought a dozen roses, eleven real, one fake. He looks deeply into his girlfriends eyes, hers looking back, brimming with love and affection as he says, "I slept with your sister."

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Q:Why did the boy cry? A: because his mom was hit by a bus Q: why did the boy wipe his face? A:he was covered in his mother blood and threatened all the witness who saw him push his mother into the bus

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Why is a budgie Because the other leg is yellow

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whats it called when a pimp slaps a ho? RESPECT

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be light he said get the fuck out the way!

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How to condom style ayyyyyy sexy horsey how how how how how to condom style

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what did the bug say when it got ran over by a car? NOTHING, bugs can't talk

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How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

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How come little billy couldn't ride a tricycle? Because he was born without legs due to a rare disease and therefore can't pedal.

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why did the girl say what's up. she wanted to know what they were doing

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That's what she didn't say

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A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!! Everybody A-S-S-H-O-L-E!!!!

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Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

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A man walked into a bar Ouch.

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why did the grinch steal christmas? The grinch had a rough childhood. he had an abusive father and a crack cocaine addicted mother, and as a result, the grinch never got a christmas of his own. The grinch steals the happiness of christmas from the who's becuase his horrible childhood has caused him to take his anger out on everyone around him, because the grinch believes that this will make up for his depressing childhoofd

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Why did the boy in a wheelchair cry? His mum just got shot in front of his eyes.

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Who were the fastest readers of all time? The victims of 9/11. They went through over 87 stories in less than 2 1/2 minutes.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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