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Hi im a joke i eat turtles

How many walls can you paint with a baby? Depends on how hard you throw it.

how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

Why did the grandmother lock her grandson in the closet? Because she didn't love him.

what does brb mean? ...be right back? ...ok hurry i need to know the answer.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't, It's still in its pen.

A man calls his wife, but she doesn't pick up. He comes home and shouts his wife's name, but no one responds. He walks upstairs and sees the bedroom door half-opened. He enters and sees his wife sleeping.

What do you call ugly? Dionne Dodds

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was unaware that it could get run over by a motor vehicle.

A ginger a blond and a burnett where walking in the dessert... They died of heat exhaustion.

What did the Penis say to the Condom? Nothing. The human organ is not able to talk to another inanimate object, therefore it's impossible.

Why did the first elephant fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second elephant fall out of the tree? It was tied to the first elephant. Why did the third elephant fall out of the tree? PEER PRESSURE!

What do a tree and a boy have in common? They both cry when you hit them with an axe... except the tree.

A duck walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand hey! Got any guns

A couple was arguing about how the man was cheating and he was in "The Doghouse". There clever son pointed out that they didn't own a dog.

Why did the little boy have a gun pointed at his head? Because he hated his life and wanted to kill himself.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust. What's worse than the holocaust? Finding two worms in your apple.

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It died.

what does the homeless man do when he gets home? nothing, he's homeless

Hey, i just met you. And this is crazy! But im on bathsalts ! *GAUH* Your face looks tasty!! :D

Knock... Knock... Who's there? AIDS.

A man tells the bartender," A bar walks into a man..." The bartender says," What the hell? I think you've had enough"

What would George Washington say if he were alive today? WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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