why did the disabled man go to the shops? because he wanted a radiator panel

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What did the boy say during his math test? Nothing, talking during a test is prohibited.

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GIRL: Honey, for a holiday we should go someplace nice BOY: How will that work, none of us speak Mexican...

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I can count to potato.

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Have you ever seen a dinosaur? No

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Your momma is so dumb she has to have weekly tutoring to help understand finding the value of x in an equation.

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what is a bracket? a bracket

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tomorrows international kill and orphan day, how meany of the sad bastard's you plan on baking into dough?

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Whats worse than a baby crying on a plane. 9/11

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Abstract thinking part one of... One: What kind of idiot tries to run trough a wall, rather than to just use the door? The "Idiot" is in a cell whose walls are made of thin wood plates, the door is made of steel and locked. How I cured my own damn anxiety five hundred of one: Now this is real see? I got stressed, damn it was like something that was not me but my body scared as shit began fearing for its life right my arms shaking like fuck sweat and all that crapa? So I got pissed got in front of the mirror, stared at myself and shouted "GODDAMN BODY YOU THINKS YOU CAN CONTROL ME? IF YOU DO NOT STOP BEING SO FUCKING AFRAID OF DEATH! THEN I WILL KILL YOU MYSELF!" So yeah unconventional indeed, but it worked for five times, and I never had to use it anymore. Moral: My own body and every fucking cell of it, is not the only one that fears me more than death.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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What does the cookie monster and the blue man group have in common? They are both homosexually active

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why did corey cross the road? the green man flashed.

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What's black and hangs from the trees in my backyard? Black berries!

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where did suzie go when the bomb hit her?? Everywhere

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Wait what? I did not type that!

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How do you make a plumber sad? You murder his family.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead.

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You just read this ..

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What do you all a dead black man? A corpse.

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Knock Knock Who's There? It's Me. Oh, OK. Come On In.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water jack fell down and broke his neck and he was dead... The End

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a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

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Three men went into a bar; one was blind, another deaf and the third was mute. The blind guy said "Did you SEE that?" The deaf guy said "WHAT?" And the mute said "...."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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