What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

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theres a kitten stuck in a tree, whats wrong? it's dead

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What's worse than hell? I would say the Holocaust, but they're both the same for the Jews.

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What's worse than a dog peeing on your new flower garden? A terrorist attack.

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How did little Timmy die? He was ripped to shreds by a violent badger.

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What is the worst gift a child can get? a gift

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What do squirrels and Justin bieber have in common? Everything.

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How do you get your little brother to stop kicking you? Stick his feet in the garbage disposal.

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out of your comfort zone

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A Muslim walks into a bar No-one survives the blast

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What do you call a white woman that had sex with a black guy? A rape victim.

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What did Joan of Arc have for her last meal? Steak

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

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why did the guy get pulled over he had a broken tail light

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When life gives you lemons, you are probably crazy because life cannot give you lemons.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It didn't, instead it got put in to a McDonald's chicken wrap. Life is funny sometimes, and sceane

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Whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? Jews undergo metabolism, maintain homeostasis, possess a capacity to grow, respond to stimuli, reproduce and, through natural selection, adapt to their environment in successive generations. More complex living organisms can communicate through various means.[1][5] A diverse array of living organisms (life forms) can be found in the biosphere on Earth, and the properties common to these organisms—plants, animals, fungi, protists, archaea, and bacteria—are a carbon- and water-based cellular form with complex organization and heritable genetic information. Pizza does not.

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Q: There was a train wreck in the middle of nowhere, every one died, no one saw the train wreck, so how did the story about the wreck get out? A:Many philosophers believe that the universe is a figment of its own imagination. Therefore, if "the universe" decided that it wanted the story to get out, it could have just made it so since it is its own imagination.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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A black guy gets a job...

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Why does Timmy Teblow love penis? Logan Cole made him do it.

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Have you seen the 6th sense? Nope, is it good? Yeah Bruce Willis is dead

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Gladly, you sound very confident, makes me happy. Well, doctors thought I had ADHD (go figure) but I am pretty calm outside the internet, then they went with ADD, but since my attention is twofold, this meaning that I can get a lecture, while noticing a toothpick falling on the other side of the room (noticing as in perceiving with focus not necessarily listening but you know, seeing from the corner of ones eye) Yet still focus well enough to get the lecture in details. So its not split focus such as in ADD, but dual, as in me being able to think about two things at once, but also burning out extremely fast, which again, is far from ADD.

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How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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