Q:why did the lion eat the zebra? A: because it was hungry.

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Q. How many blondes does it take to put in a lightbulb? A. Cause of 7,8,9!

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A father was driving with his son. The Son asked " have you been in a car accident in the past 10 years"? The father replys " did you know you HAD 4 siblings"?

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Knock, Knock. Who's there Hey, it's Dave. Oh well come on in.

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Q: what happed to the squirrel that lost his nuts? A: it died

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One day a mans computer was unusually, when all else failed, he had to go to extreme measures. He then refreshed his page.

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What did the compliemantry peanuts say to the man? "Nice tie."

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. A family is tied-up and screaming for help in my basement.

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Q: How do you stop a rhino from charging? A: Shoot it.

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There was an english man, and irishman and an pakistani sitting in a bar. What a wonderful example of racial & cultural differences bing put to one side while they are socialising in a friendly environment.

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why did ryan go to bed? because he is a growing boy and need it to keep in line for his study's i lied about him sleeping hes dead he was abducted

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Why was the little girl crying? Because she was hanging upside down from an oak tree.

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*knock knock* Who's there? *Gorilla* Gorilla who? *Gorillas don't hoot, owls hoot*

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A man scratches his ankle and says " my nuts are itchy" a woman looks at him questionly. realizing he had been watched, he lifted the bottom of his pant leg and showed to woman that he had stuffed his socks with pecans.

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There were once three bears who lived in a cottage in the forest. They left to go to the market one day. While they were gone a blonde girl walked into their cabin. Meanwhile at the market, everyone was freaking out that there were bears there.

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A Man walks in to a bar and orders a pint of lager, he notices something floating on the top of his drink so he calls over the bartender. "Excuse me, I think there's something in my dr-" The man's sentence was cut short as a man with a gun had just walked into the bar. He killed everyone, there were no survivors.

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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Why do blonde girls like penis? Because it tastes good

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Why couldn't Helen Keller drive? At age two, she contracted an illness that left her blind, deaf, unable to speak, and was considered backwards of intelligence. She lived in a dark and hopeless world of her own, rendering her unable to do anything, let alone drive.

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the fat boy named biggins ate a twinkie, a man named scruffy came along and shot biggins, now biggins has no nose

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How do you make someone to go away from you? You rape them How do you get santa to not give you presents anymore? You rape him How do you get the easter bunny to stop coming to your house? Friend: you rape him? No, you ask him politly to leave.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.. A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: Not Sally

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A bicycle!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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