What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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What is worse than the holocaust? World War III.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

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Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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Why didnt the man eat the free cachew nuts? Because he did'nt want to die from an allergic reaction.

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Once upon a time, a boy sat on a hedgehog. He abruptly stood up, as the spikes had caused him a certain amount of discomfort.

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Why's Jeds head so big? Curley wurly.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am a dog.

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Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

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Man 1: Nock-nock Man 2: Please leave my place of residence

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What is red, blue, green, and pink, tie died, and alive? Nothing.

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A man walks into a bakery and buys a doughnut. He then starts to drive home when he realised that he'd forgoten to eat the doughtnut and has to returne to do so.

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How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

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Colby Michael Schluter

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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What's the hardest part about eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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What's similar about a fish and an eagle? They can both fly, except for the fish.

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Corn Muffins

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Whats black, yellow and white? my wives

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(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

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why did the chicken cross the road? Why not?

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Tunechi

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what happens when u mix a car, a blimp and a plane? I don't know.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops