How many women does it take to drive a car? One. She had a sex change.

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Q: What do you get when you stand a blonde on her head? A: HORSE DICK

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Three Jews walked into a bar. I lied... it was a gas chamber.

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Why did little Timmy start crying? Because he was shot.

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Why was the little boy crying? Because a stranger shoved explosives up his butthole.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a pizza? One has a complex circulatory system the other is a pizza.

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It's so hot even chuck noris can't withstand this shit.

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Knock knock Who's there? No Who is over there

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Best joke: Okay so I got a joke for ya but it is pretty long so bare with me please. First off, you must have heard a knock knock joke before and you must have a huge sense of humor. So this guy walks into a bar and orders fried chicken wings with hot fudge and vinilla drizzled all over it with a cherry topping. The bartender says, "We don't have that." The guy thinks of anything else he'd like and says, "How about a bucket of turkey and jalapeños?" The bartender looks puzzled and once again says, "This is a bar..." The guy is now paranoid and says, "Fine, I'll just have a thick, juicy, chicken thigh but please remove any excess skin on it, it's unhealthy and I'm on a diet." The bartender slowly removes his apron and walks out of the bar shouting, "I QUIT!" The guy sits there on the barstool laughing as a lady bartender comes to him. "So sorry sir, what would you like? From our bar that we have available?" The guy stares at her, squinting. "By any chance do you know if you have the punch line to this 'joke' because I sure dont." Slowly the woman removes her apron and walks out of the bar. The guy grins, walks out, and says, "job well done today. Where to tomorrow?"

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A black man and a white man were both pulled over for street racing. They both were also found to be drunk driving. Only the black man was arrested. It turns out the black man had just massacred an entire Amish village before going street racing to celebrate.

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Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Suzie.

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What do you call a hickey on your shoulder? Bad aim -Cooper Simpson

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I slipped and fell in the shower today. Good thing my dad caught me

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra. He is embarrassed but realises it has nothing to do with his dyslexia.

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What smells worse than cow manure? Burning Jews.

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What's gray and comes in buckets? An elephant

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Q. What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? A. Where's my tractor?

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What's the difference between a pizza and a Jew? A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

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A man is gay, a parade is held in his honor. A man is black, a holiday is named after him. A man is white, he laughs at the stupidity in the world today.

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A man walked into this bar, and said ouch.

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How do you make a person cry? You bury them alive.

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1 man walks up to a tiger and eats cheese toast with brownies and butter and wonders about the stars the end james

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CALLER: Is your refrigerator running? OWNER: Yes, it's working just fine.

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Why were Jews discriminated against for thousands of years? They weren't supposed to. Jews are people just like you and me. And for every ignorant person out there that hates Jews, you better watch your back because God is watching you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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