what did the man with no arm get for Christmas? A rowboat

Nobody enjoys your company. Nobody likes your work. Nobody loves you. There is no person who's name is legitimately nobody.

It's April Fool's Day and a little boy runs up to his mom. "Daddy hung himself! He's in the attic!" The mom runs up to the attic, but the dad's not there. The boy looks at his mom and says, "April fools! He's in the basement!"

Chuck Norris walks into a bar. somebody recognizes him and immidiately asks for his autograph

what do you call a blonde with black hair? Artificial intelligence

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, your wife and kids die.

Have you ever had Ethiopian food?

Whats worse than an oompa loompa a black midget

Q: What did the blonde woman say when she got slaped by her friend? A: Ow.

How many dead babies can fit in a dead horse 11

What do a magazine and a banana have in common? They both have pages, except for the banana.

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

whats it called when a pimp slaps a ho? RESPECT

Row, row, row your... Canoe.

whats worse then having sex with a blonde? having sex with a cactus

This is not a joke

Why couldn't the white child dunk the basketball? His legs were amputated and he has been confined to a wheelchair.

Two Blondes walk into a bar. They each enjoy a refreshing drink before heading home to greet their family

Why did the Asian drive his car into a tree? His contact fell out.

What do you call a 400 pound man eating chocolate? diabetic

How many times can the Frenchman cheat on his wife? I don't know.

So there's this crazy married couple in a old trailer down the road. They are both drunk. The man asks his blond wife, ''Isn't it about time we get married?'' The wife replies ''I wouldn't marry a ugly thing like you!'' The next day, they file a divorce.

Why do vampire's from 'Twilight' sparkle? Because it's a really bad movie.

Hi, how are you doing? Good how about yourself? Fine, thanks. Nice weather we're having Yeah, not too bad Have a nice day You too

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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