An old couple walks up to me and says, "can you take our picture? It's our 50th anniversary." I reply, "sure." Then I pull the man to the side and ask, "how do you make a relationship last so long? I can't make one last 50 days let alone years." He leans in and says, "cheat"

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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Knock Knock! Oh god Johnny, someones at the door! Hide the heroin and bail man, BAIL!!!

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How did Jimmy know that his neighbor was a serial killer? He didn't... Jimmy's dead now

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roses are blue violets are red... i have to use the bathroom

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What is my cats favorite college? Harvard

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Friends are like snowflakes, they go away when you pee on them.

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What did the duck say to the mouse? Quack!

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I'm a dog.

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Spinabifita

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Whats worse than a gay pride parade? Genocide.

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What would Guy and Hemech's reactions be if they saw this joke up? They would see it from the newest jokes

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Q: What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? A: Names

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Whats the difference between ice cream and dead babies? I'm not eating ice cream right now.

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A Priest, a Rabbi, and an Orca Whale walk into a local eatery to discuss what is on their mind. The Priest says he is proud that even though their community is comprised of people residing in many different religions, they still work together to strive for a better tomorrow. The Rabbi nods his head in agreement,he states that he is proud of all the hard working men in their community that are willing to make sacrifices for the needy. The Orca Whale also nods in agreement and pauses for a moment to think while he insight-fully gleams at his two other friends. The Mighty Orca Whale then contributes to the conversation by saying eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuurrrr!

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Knock knock. Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? Banana. Knock knock Who's there? You're in-laws. Bet you wish I said banana

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Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down and broke his crown, and Jill came tumbling after. Up Jack got, and home did trot, as fast as he could caper, to old Dame Dob, who proceeded to get Jill convicted of attempted murder, as well as several millions of dollars for pain and suffering.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did the boy cry when he got circumcised? Because he couldn't fap.

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Knock knock Who's there? Your brother My brother who? The dead guy over there.

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Knock knock, Who's there? The cops, your parents are dead and now you are an orphan.

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Why was Rosa Parks forced to sit in the back of the bus? Every seat wsa taken, and the back was her only option

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What's the difference between a duck?

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A duck walks into a bar.... Animal control is swiftly called and the duck is relocated to a nearby park.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops