YOLO You only like Oreos

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knock knock. Who's there? The delivery man.

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What's worse then an adult dying A baby dying

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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What's black, white, and red all over? Trayvon Martin and George Zimmerman.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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why harry potter, if he was a wizard?

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How many Jews can you fit in a one-person car? --One in the drivers seat, 30 million in the ashtray

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what did the radish say to the orange i'm a radish

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You are walking down the street, and a man keeps on getting in your way. You want to politely... Screw it already and stab him in the back

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Want to know whats funnier than 24? 25

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How do you confuse Hellen Keller? You do not, as she is blind and deaf, and partaking in doing so would be the morally wrong thing to do.

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What to you call a heavy person, Someone overweight

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Doctor doctor, I feel like listening to good music. Looks like you need "The Cure" to help with this.

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How do you fit an elephant inside your car?: Starve it to death, then chop it in pieces.

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Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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Roses are red Grass is greener I think of you when I play with my weiner

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I like my women like I like my coffee Without a penis

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Yesterday, I was assasinated.

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sky's the limit said the tree a.w. j.p.

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The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action

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why do cats hate dogs the Holocaust

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H o m o comes out as homo

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Fat people

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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