What's worse than a kid being bullied at school? A kid being bullied at school, to go home and be raped by his stepdad.

Chuck Norris doesn't swim... He never learned

Do you like apples? Yes

Batman and Superman switched sidekicks. Superman didn't want Robin.

Roses aren't Red and Violet aren't Blue, do you know why i even like you

An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

Why was the pizza mad? Because he was going thorough a growth spurt and the testosterone got to him.

A priest enters a bar moments after a young teen walks into the same bar. The priest scolds the teen and warns him of the possibility of arrest, alcoholism, and otherwise damaging consequences. The teen apologizes to the bartender, and much later in life, he thanks the priest.

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

A man walks into a bar with a pack of Marlboros and promptly starts to light a cigarette. The bartender rushes over to stop him. "Hey! We don't allow smoking in here chump! Take it outside." The man replies with a big grin on his face. "Oh no sir. These ain't no ordinary cigarettes. My granddad gave me this pack a decade ago on his death bed." He pulls it out and shows the bartender 19 stale smokes. "He told me that any who took a single drag off any of them would have their biggest wish come true." the man recalled. The bartender had a perplexed look on his face and yelled "What the f*** are you talking about? Get out of here before I curb check your a**!" The man was then hastily escorted out by security. He then died 4 days later from autoerotic asphyxiation.

Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

How many pancakes does it take to fill up a doghouse? None, because ice cream doesn't have bones.

You know what likes to get fisted? Sock puppets.

If your scared of paedophiles..... grow up

Your mom is so stupid she makes stupid people look not stupid.

Knock Knock Whose there? Yes I am a convicted child molester and by state law I must go door-to-door explaining the many cruel and vigorous crimes I have committed.

if a fat man in a red suit puts you in a bag at night. its not santa your getting raped

Your mommas so fat, that she's really big.

Why should people with Alzheimer's not tell jokes? To get to the other side.

I may have alzheimer's but at least I don't have alzheimer's.

What's flying and eats rocks? A flying rock eater

Why did the chicken cross the road? To return to the roost he had recently escaped.

Hitler

Q: What did the black man say to the other black man? A: Nothing. They didn't know each other.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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