A man walks into a bar. He then proceeds to get severe concussion, goes to hospital and dies three days later after suffering multiple brain haemorrhages.

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A psychotic man walks into a pharmacy He buys his weekly medication to control his condition.

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Your mother is SO wealthy, that she should help stop the poor children in Africa from starving by donating some spare change to the Let's-Help-Stop-The-Poor-Little-African-Children-From-Starving donation center. -not a real place!!!!!

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When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

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What do you call a deaf, blind socialist? Helen Keller.

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Doctor doctor, I came here as quickly as possible, it was just the nearest place I could find. My dog he... he's panting and bleeding and I don't know what to do I think he's dying and I just want him to hold on... Please... Well then go to a vet you stupid shit.

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roses are red violets are blue i have AIDS now so do you.

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I like my coffee like i like my woman.... with big titis.

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So in Jimmy's school if u are misbehaving u are asked to get out of the room. Jimmy was in science, and he was throwing paper a bunch. Then his science teacher says, "Jimmy, do u wanna go out?" Jimmy replies "No thanks, I'm 14 and i have a girlfriend." That's how Jimmy got detention.

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Whats worse than finding a spider in your shower? Getting repeatedly stabbed in the dick by a rapid chipmunk.

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what's white and sticky? mayonnaise.

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What's it called when One Direction wins a Grammy Award? It's never going to happen; so why give it a name?

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How do you stop clowns from throwing cinderblocks at your car? Hire a hitman.

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how come the exorcist eat crème brülé? because that deserves a carlsburg

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Got Milk? Why yes! Yes I do!

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What's worse than being short? Being a Tutsi in 1994.

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How did Bob survive the plane crash? He didn't

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The sentence at the bottom is true. The sentence at the top is false.

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There was a man that Invited Bruce Wayne, Superman, Peter Parker, Batman, Clark Kent and Peter Parker to his party He was really sad when he heard only half of them could attend...

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How do get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor.

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What is brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

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Roses are red, violets are blue you may not know this but I'm falling for you . <3

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What does a dyslexic person do on sundays? Goes to church to pray to Dog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops