How does Batman's mom call him home for supper? Nothing. Batman's mom is dead.

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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What's utter destruction but still has wheels? A car that was crushed at a junk yard, after the Bridgestone tires were removed for another car that could still use them

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I made a sandwich Lol jk, my gf made it for me

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What is black, white and red all over? A black man has been shot and a white paramedic is standing over him trying to save his life.

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roses are red violets are blue im in class i shouldnt be on this

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Why did the man stop having seizure? Because his condition was recognized and he was properly medicated.

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What's something that really sucks? Having a homicidal cat on your chest.

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what looks, smells, and sounds like red paint? blue paint, I lied about it being red

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Then that means that, I thought I was working with you? No wonder things did not work out, no wonder jerks like Jonas "the wizard" got inside my team, he was recommended by this "Axel Knight"

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What is the most dangerous day of the week to leave the house? Garbage day. Moral: Or rather GAAAAAAAAAARBAAAAAGE DAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *BANG BANG BANG* >:D

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Q: How do you get a giraffe into a refrigerator? A: You open the door put the giraffe in and the close the door. Q: How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? A: You open the door to the refrigerator take the giraffe out then put the elephant in and close the door. Q: The Lion King is hosting an animal conference, all the animals attend but one, which one is it? A: The elephant it's in the fridge Q: You have to cross a river that is inhabited by crocodiles how do you cross it? A: You swim across, the crocodiles are at the animal conference.

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Did you hear the one about the man who went into the jungle wearing nothing but leopard print underwear? He was suffering from psychogenic fugue disorder and had no idea who or where he was. He was eventually eaten alive by a flesh-eating centipede. When his wife found out, she committed suicide.

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How do u make a fat person cry......... tell em mc donnalds is closed (^_^)

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Knock Knock Who's there Me Me who ME LET ME IN

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please dislike this or else i will continue writing this, lalalalalalalalalallalalalalallalalalalalalalallaallaalallalalalalalalalalalalalalalaallalalalallalalaallalalalalalallalalalalalallalalalalalalallalalalalalalla

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Last night, I awoke to the unsettling sound of an alarm. My initial thought was fire. However, after analyzing the situation, I realized that it was only my alarm clock. I turned off the alarm clock, and got out of bed. Then my brother walked in my room and hit me in the face with a toaster.

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a dinosaur with a large clown hat is walking down the street when he is confronted by an obese monkey human with red hair. I set this up for a good pun, but the one i have is potatoes.

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Why did the fireman wear red suspenders? To honor his father, Jonathan "Red" Hoffner, who was tragically killed in the line of duty. While attempting to save 3 small children in a trailer park fire, the elder firefighter suffered 3rd degree burns over 80 percent of his body. "Red" was rushed to a local hospital and lingered for several agonizing days. He began to rally but a careless error by a night nurse led to his unfortunate demise. His son was psychologically unable to wear anything but red suspenders every day for the rest of his life - not only because of his father's death but also because it was he who had maliciously set the fire in the first place.

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Timothy started school at an elementary and was in the fourth grade. His teacher was Ms Bradshaw, and he liked his class. One day as he was going into class, Ms Bradshaw asked everybody, "what's worse than biting into an apple with a worm in it?" Timothy raised his hand and said "the holocaust." The teacher went to her desk and pulled out a desert eagle and shot Timothy five times in the face and raped his dead body

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Whats red and smells like Bacon. Bacon

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WHATS A CRUM AND LIVES IN A SLUM ?? A BOY CALLED KEVIN CRUMMY

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Q:Do you know why Jesus would not be a good goalkeeper? A:Because he never played football

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Whats better than having 5 dollars? Having 5 dollars and a pizza

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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