roses are red violets are blue i suck at poetry show me your tits

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How do you kill a crackhead Put her in a shredder and put the remainings in your ex wifes refrigerator

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How do you spell dog? C-A-T!

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Q. What is the difference between a bird and a fly? A. A bird can fly, but a fly can't.

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What's red and round? A red and round solid.

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How many worms dose it take to eat an apple? One.

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roses are red, violets are blue, i have adhd, OH A CHEESEPUFF

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What did the doctor say to the terminally ill patient? Your going to die.

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what do you call a black guy who flies planes? a pilot

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When Chuck Norris runs, he doesn't even move a muscle.

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Roses are green Violets are yellow I have an optical disorder

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you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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Q: Why did Temia go to sleep? A: Cause swaq and she was so skuxx!

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How do you avoid being hit with a toaster? You don't walk past the man hitting you with a toaster.

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Why'd the monkey fall out of the tree? it was dead Why'd the second monkey fall out of the tree? it was stapled to the first monkey Why'd the third monkey fall out of the tree? peer pressure Why'd the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? his girlfriend broke up with him so he commited suicide Why'd the fifth monkey fall out of the tree? cuz it was a dumbass

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Men's Rights

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the poor thing is so confused and is seeking a near by farm.

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What's the difference between a duck and a goose? They're two completely different water fowl.

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How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? It depends on the size of the apartment.

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A man dressed in a white sheet shows up at an African American's door, they sit in the living room drinking coffee and watching the weather.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Funding a half worm in your apple because you just ate half of a worm!

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I hate being bi-polar; it's awesome!

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Robin- Hey, Batman, can i drive tonight? Batman- Eat my left dick Robin- OK, Batman, but can i still ... mmuupfm fmuupmf... I suppose that means no... mmmupf mmfupfmpfmum...

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When the black man was driving his car, why did he stop in front of the gun store? Because his car's velocity reached zero at that location.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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