Why did Sally Drop here ice cream? She was hit by a bus. Knock Knock? *who's there* Not Sally.

Did you hear about the Polish Helicopter crash? The pilot and three passengers died.

An Englishman, an American, and an Australian walk into a bar. They speak English to each other.

Why did the bird fall down? It got shot.

What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

Heartlight

What do a platypus and Obama have in common? A brain, except for Obama.

Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

i have a christmas tree.

What did the one legged girl do when her apartment caught on fire? She tried to hop to safety, but died of smoke inhalation.

What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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