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A man is sitting at a bar. He stands up and goes over to these bikers playing pool. He then walks over to the bartender and says "I bet you three hundred dollars that I can pee in that bottle over there." The bartender looks at the bottle and sees there is a good five meters between the two. The bartender then agrees. The man takes out his penis and begins to pee. His pee stream goes everywhere on the bar, on the cash register, and espicially on the laughing bartender. It goes everywhere except inside the bottle. The man finishes and zips his pants. He then smiles at the bartender while handing him three hundred dollars. The bartender asks "why are you laughing you lost three hundred dollars?" Which the man replies "See those bikers by the pool table laughing?...I bet them five hundred dollars each that I could pee on your bar, on your cash register, and on your face and you would laugh and be happy." The bartender then reached under his bar and toke out his bat. He then continued to break the mans knees and then perceeded to pee on his bruised and battered face.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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Knock Knock F*ck of I'm watching p0rn

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Roses are red. Violets are black. Why is your chest, As flat as my back?

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Look whos talking Matt Critchley

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Whats Green and Smells Like Grass? Grass

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Q: Why does Bill Gates give so much money to charity? A: Because he wants to improve the lives of his fellow human beings, and also excessive wealth would be detrimental to his children.

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Whats worse than being white and in harlem on the 4th of july? Your schizophrenic father leaving you a voicemail detailing the politics of successful encounters with prostitutes.

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How does a pirate get to work? His CAAAARRRR! Where does the pirate go after work? The BAAAARRRR! How does the pirate get home from the bar? A taxi. A pirate doesn't drive after consuming alcohol.

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what sad about 4 mexican dieing in a car crash??? My car

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a homeless man walks into a bar, the bartender and patrons treat him nicely, and sympathize for his current situation.

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Whats green and has wheels? A Rednecks front lawn.

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What do two siblings have in common? They both want the other to get hit by a bus.

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I really don't care how you dress at my funeral, I'll be dead!

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If a large bear falls out of a tree, why would a giraffe also eat the cheese?

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Q: What do the Terms of Service say? A: I dont know, I didnt read them.

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How many light bulbs? 1

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What did the blind guy say when he walked past a fish store? Something smells fishy

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A guy watches TMJBtv on YouTube. He then shoots himself.

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waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

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phil - "honey, why is the picture quality so bad" Phil was watching a toaster

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Why does Jordan Abu aita have a small pepe? Because he is black

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Q:Why did suzie fall off the swing A:She had no arms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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