- Anti Joke

Tom and Phill are eating ice cream Tom challenges Phill to a contest to see who can eat their ice cream in one bite Tom finishes his in two bites Phil in one Then he looks like he got a brain freeze Tom notices and says "You idiot: you got brain freeze!" Phill turns around and says "No, I have a brain tumor."

What is a life without options.... an optionless life

Q: why do english soldiers have red coats? A: to cover the blood stains, so they can still lead their platoons when they are shot. why else?

♪ It's raining. It's pouring. ♪ The old man caught pneumonia and died....

A man went to the doctor with a strange complaint. "Well it's like this Doc, when I drive to work in the morning through the country lanes I start to sing 'The green green grass of home'. If I see a cat then it's 'What's new, pussy cat?'. It's so embarrassing, even when I'm asleep and dreaming, I still keep singing. Last night, it was 'Delilah', and my wife was not amused!" "Yes, it would apear that you have the early symptoms of Tom Jones syndrome." "Well I've never heard of that, is it common?" asked the man. "Yes," replied the doctor, "It is very uncommon."

if life gives you lemons, you have some lemons

What happens when you catch a cold? You sneeze whenever you stand up.

Q: What did the black man say to the other black man? A: Nothing. They didn't know each other.

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't.

How do you get a cat out of a tree? Throw a jar of foreskin at it.

Why did the monkey fall off the tree? It died.

Why was the deer afraid of the hunter because the smell of toasters

A African americia and a Hispanic are in a car, who's driving? The police man

What is blue and invisible? Invisible blue paint

What do you get when you cross a RPG with a cell phone? A microwave

Your mom goes to college. Actually, she graduated a while back!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

Why did Li Chong get an A on his math test? He studied.

What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

17

Why did the boy fail his midterm? he didnt study.

Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.