Q: How does a chicken get to work? A: A chicken does not go to work. Chickens can not legally be employed for any position in any country as they are chickens, are not human, and do not posses any prerequisites required to be hired for any existing employable position.

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A boy bought a dozen roses, eleven real, one fake. He looks deeply into his girlfriends eyes, hers looking back, brimming with love and affection as he says, "I slept with your sister."

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Farmers are outstanding in their fields

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because 7 ate 9.

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Roses are grey Violets are grey I am a dog

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Knock knock Knock knock Knock knock I have outsimers Wait why am i here?

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In Soviet Russia, you have no rights!

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Whats funnier than 2 dead babies? Seinfeld, and I hate Seinfeld.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. I have Alzheimer's, Who are you?

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Two Blondes walk into a bar. They each enjoy a refreshing drink before heading home to greet their family

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What do you get if you cross a Kangaroo and a Sheep? They are too entirely different species and cannot be crossbred.

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How do you get a kid to shut up? You ducttape his mouth,legs, and arms and throw him in a pit

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What did the teacher say to the student? You failed science

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What do you do if your computer breaks: Go on your phone. What do you do if your phone breaks: Go on you iPod What do you do if your iPod breaks: Then your screwed and you should get a Job and learn not to break things.

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His Royal Highness was hunting in the forest accompanied by his squires and hunting dogs. A man, screaming, ran wildly out of the brush and addressed the hunting party. He said, "DON'T SHOOT! I AM NOT A MOOSE!! PLEASE DO NOT SHOOT!!!!" The king calmly raised his rifle to his eye and fired, hitting the man in the temple, and instantly killing him. A squire frantically turned to the king and said "Sire! Why did you kill this man?! He CLEARLY said he was not a moose!" The King replied "Oh! I thought he said he WAS a moose..."

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A man walked into a bar Ouch.

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Your mother is so fat that she once ate an entire peach cobbler in one sitting and chastised herself yet again for her lack of self-control over her eating habits and her need to fill the holes in her self esteem with the short-lived gratification she gains from eating too much of the foods she finds tasty.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I got to go now Gonna take a poo.

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what do u say when u meet somebody new hello

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven looked angry and had a gun.

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A blonde enters a bar and orders an elevator.

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"Free to play" Play free "right now"

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How could the teacher tell that the student was dead? logic

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What's worse than finding a hair in your soup? Slavery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops