Knock knock Who's there? Dave Dave who? Dave Smith.

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Do you ride the bus to school or do you take your lunch?

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What did the one battery say to the other? Nothing. Batteries can't talk.

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What do you get when you cross George Bush and Barack Obama? Presidents.

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Q:If Ryan Vallee walks into a room what do you do? A:Walk out -Ryan V

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what does hi = good by cause person doesn't like you.

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What would the world be like without 1 direction it would still be the world but just without 1 direction

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How do you kill 23 kids? You put 24 kids in an arena.

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Why did the plane crash? Why? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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what's worse than a pile of dead babies? a pile of dead babies with a live one at the bottom eating its way out.

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What Does the Duck Say? "Got any grapes?"

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Whats more ugly then seeing a raccoon and a frog f*cking Your mom

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Why, apples are the optimum environment for the worm species, offering a stable temperature with the efficiency of nutrition and comortable value, therefore in reality finding a worm in your apple is a healthy suggestion that the Global Warming effects on Earth have not yet affected the ever increasing innocent worm population.

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A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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what is big and green and would kill you if it fell out of a tree? A snooker table

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To go to the slaughter-house.

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Stare at the person nearest to you and say "sprinkles" with the straightest face possible.

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my captcha says : forkin chickens

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When life gives you melons, your dyslexic

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Why do Native Americans own Casinos? Because it's a very profitable business situation.

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Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

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Marrage s like a card game. You start off with 2 hearts and 1 diamond. You end up wishing for a club and a spade!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops