Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

How many fingers does Charlie Sheen have? 8. and 2 thumbs. just like most everybody else.

Two men walk into a bar, they weren't looking where they were going.

Heartlight

Batman, Superman, Spiderman and Wonder Woman walk into a bar. The bartender decides to ruin the joke by saying nothing.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill all his friends and family.

What is the difference between a rock and a pencil? Your Mom.

What's one thing good about cancer? (make them guess) Nothing you fricking prick!

Do you have liquid tape? No ( But he really did)

Why did the little girl fail her test? Because she had mental retardation.

What happened to the lady with cancer?? She got shot!!

What did the one legged girl do when her apartment caught on fire? She tried to hop to safety, but died of smoke inhalation.

i have a christmas tree.

Because you killed my Llama. He was my best-friend.

What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

What did one cow say to the other cow? nothing cows cant talk. They did however, exchange glances while chewing grass next to each other.

Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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