What did the unicorn say to the man.\ Nothing unicorns don't exist

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What do u call a man with no arms and no legs and is laying in front of a door? Matt

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Hello.

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Life is like a box of chocolates! It sucks if you have diabetes

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How do you make a professional gamer cry? You burn his house down.

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Rabid squirrels attacked Blake's face as winged pickles perched on Phoebe's hair.

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Why was Abraham Lincolin President. He was elected by the people of the united states.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a bar of soap? You don't rub your balls with a Jew.

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The anti joke that repeats itself :(

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(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

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What would George Washington say if he were alive today? WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH THIS COUNTRY!

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My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son of a B**ch.

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knock knock whos there? your mom really? well whats she wearing a refridgerator.

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there was a blind kid and a man wearing a WWJD & Livstrong bracelet touched his eyes and he could see. He wasn't used to the light and walked into traffic and died instantly.

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Why did Jimmy fall of a building without a paracute? Because he lost a bet.

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Why is Skrillex bad at fishing? Lack of experience.

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What does it smell like, what does it feel like, do you like it? Yes

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What happened to the orphan? Who cares?

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John went to the shop to purchase a can of coca cola. He left the shop with a can of coca cola.

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What do you call a man with a gun? An accident waiting to happen.

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How do you drown a blonde? You hold her head under water until water gets into her lungs and she cant breathe.

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whats worse than biting your apple and finding a worm? WWII.

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How do you make a girl wet? Throw her in the pool

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a man is bussy at work, when he gets called by his doctor. YOUR WIFE IS HAVING A BABY! the doctor yells. so the man runs to his car, drives home like a madman, and arrives home with his doctor holding the newborn in his arms. "congratulations" the doctor says "it's a boy" the man takes the baby in his arms and says: "but, this child is black!" his wife cheated on him and the familly breaks appart

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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