Q: How do you make a plumber cry? A: Kill his family.

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What's worse than someone posting a number on antijoke ? Someone posting about what's worse than the holocaust

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what do you do to get a guy to vomit?? kick him in the balls!

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How many elephants can you fit in a car? depends how big the car is!

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Why did the kid jump? He didn't.

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What did the unicorn say to the man.\ Nothing unicorns don't exist

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A donkey walks into a supermarket and asks the cashier "Where are the potatoes?" The cashier replies "aisle 3" The donkey goes to aisle 3 And there are no potatoes

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Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

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Why is pi? Because circles.

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Women have the right to vote.

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Once upon a time, a boy sat on a hedgehog. He abruptly stood up, as the spikes had caused him a certain amount of discomfort.

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Why did the maid have to clean feces off the wall? Because I shit cannoned it.

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Why's Jeds head so big? Curley wurly.

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Roses are grey, Violets are grey, I am a dog.

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If you're having Kony problems, I feel bad for you son. He's stolen 99 kids and your posters saved none.

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Pick up lines: Are you from Tennessee? Because you're wearing a university of Tennessee sweatshirt. If I could rearrange the alphabet to put 'U' and 'I' together, I would not do it because I would have to reorganize all of my alphabetized files. Is it hot in here to you or am I experiencing early signs of a stroke?

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who adheres to the Jewish faith and claims a cultural or ancestral connection to the Jewish people, and a pizza is an oven-baked, flat, disc shaped bread usually topped with tomato sauce and mozzarella and then a selection of meats, depending on taste and culture.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? The doorbell repair man.

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What is worse than the holocaust? World War III.

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Why didnt the man eat the free cachew nuts? Because he did'nt want to die from an allergic reaction.

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What's fat, round and bounces on the ground? A ball. I lied about the fat bit.

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What is red, blue, green, and pink, tie died, and alive? Nothing.

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Man 1: Nock-nock Man 2: Please leave my place of residence

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How do you know a thief has been using your computer? It's missing.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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