Why did the tortoise cross the road? To get to the other side.

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Why did the blonde put tip-ex on the computer screen? To spite her physically abusive husband

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Little kids wear superman underwear. Superman wears Chuck Norris underwear.

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What does Tourettes Syndrome have in common with short term memory loss? I DON'T FREAKING REMEMBER.

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A Priest, Rabbi, and a Minister walk into a bar... i forgot the rest of the joke, but your mothers a whore!

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how do you get a rat out the house you lift it up and put it outside

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what do you call a 19th century steam train driver ? i dont know , depends what his mother named him

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knock knock, Whos there ?? Johnny. Come in fish.

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How did the blonde get Lost in her house? Netflix.

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What do you do when your speeding and a cop is right behind you? make a complete stop and hope for the best

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How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop? -250.

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Guy #1: Knock knock Guy #2: Whos there? Guy #1: Interrupting murderer Guy #2: Interrupting murd.... Guy #1: STAB!!!

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How does a girl with no arms swing on the swing? She doesn't, she has no arms.

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What is a life without options.... an optionless life

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why did the little boy fall over? he was hit in the face by a salmon.

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Why didn't the Orphan finish his lemonade. His legs got chopped off.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

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What's pink fluff? Pink fluff. What's blue fluff? Pink fluff holding it's breath. What's red fluff? Angry pink fluff. Ask me if I'm a truck. Are you a tr-- No. What's green and has wheels? Grass. I was just lying about the wheels. What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding half a worm in your apple, 'cause the other half's in your mouth. What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Angry pink fluff. What's worse than angry pink fluff? The holocaust. That's not funny. Stop laughing.

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When someone throws a rock at you What do you say? A:Oww

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What's green , has 4 legs and if it fell out of tree on you , would hurt you ? A Pool table

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A African americia and a Hispanic are in a car, who's driving? The police man

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What did the Black construction worker say to the Asian salesman? I want some milk.

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What do you call a guy who answers your door Whatever his name his

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What did the chickens say to the other chicken Go away mother clucker

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops