What lumpy and pointy? A horny woman with breast cancer

What happened to your face? I walked into a tree

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

What did the man with cancer say to the Holocaust survivor? "I have cancer."

whats stupid and gay all of my friends

What's made of wood and has an eraser? a 2x4 i lied about the eraser.

a mexican, a asian and a black guy are in a car whos driving? your mom

how do you know Newcastle are losing? its 5 past 3

Knock knock. "Who's there?" I am deaf. "I am deaf who?" What?

When I walk in the rain, I get wet

What did Rachel (the columbine girl) get for her birthday?? Nothing she's dead.

Q :Why cant mexicans be firemen A :because they get mixed up by Hosea and Hose B

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was depressed for a long time and decided to end his life by getting hit by a car.

A boy walks up to a girl and says "Do you like ice cream? Cuz I have a huuuuuge penis."

Why did the boy fail his midterm? he didnt study.

There are two muffins in an oven. One muffin says to the other "dang, it's really hot in here." Realizing that muffins can not talk the other muffin wakes up to a very hungry man biting his face.

Women's rights.

How do you make someone think your wierd? Pretend to be a panda.

A man was walking along and got his legs shot off. He then proceeded to calm his wife and children and buy a wheelchair.

A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

So you are "The Nero" are you not? How ironic... ...I got nothing on you, let me ask you however, why did you quit the underground society? What changed your lifestyle so much? I mean I accept that you did not do it out of fear or cowardice, but why did you leave it up to the rest of us to try to hold together the last remains of freedom and social information? What? To use your techniques in order to entrance people into buying your books? How is that so different? I am not saying that I consider your methods lesser, because nobody here does, but if you can explain how this makes you better, I would appreciate it, I am certain that most people would.

Why didn't the girl take her hairbrush to school? She has cancer and all her hair fell out.

Why did the man sit down? Because he was tired of standing up.

What's the only part of a vegetable you cant eat? The wheelchair

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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