Roses are red, Violets are green, get in my bed, if you know what I mean.

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a white man, a black man, a chinese man and a mexican man stand at the edge of a roof. the chinese man stands at the edge and says "this is for ma people" and jumps off. then the mexican stands at the edge of the roof and says "this is for my people" and jumps off. finally, the black man stands at the edge of the roof and shouts "this is for my people!" and throws the white man off. The End XD

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My friend Edward found a worm in his apple. Edward happened to be a lemur. Lemurs eat both plants and worms, so he ate them both.

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It's Christmas Eve and your entire family is gone for 12 hours to by you presents. What will you do while there gone? By the time you figured out what you will do you will hear a knock at your door. It's the police they are here to tell you your entire family was murdered during a shooting at the mall. The sad part is you will not receive your NEW Beats, your Xbox 1, or your make up.

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How do you make a homeless person cry? cut an onion in front of him.

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Where was I born? Pakistan. You?

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A guy who plays shooting games acquires an assault rifle but he doesn't kill anyone, why? Because he was a nice and peaceful man who loves his wife.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did Tiger look in the toilet? It doesn't matter, he didn't find anything.

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What's the difference between Sony and Kony? Sony is a company which produces electrical appliances and Kony is a Ugandan Warlord.

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what do the Holocaust and Jeff Dunham have in common? they're both hilarious

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A man comes home to find his wife in bed with another man. He then joins them.

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How much wood would a woodchuck chu... Forget this, this is overused.

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Q: Why did the boy go to the orphanage? A: His parents were dead.

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So there are three black people on a plane. The pilot comes over the intercom and says "Wow wow wow wait a second... ...why are there only three people on this plane? This is a commercial flight"

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Hillary Clinton

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Q:What happened when the black guy walked into the bar? A:He bought a drink and quietly drank it until he was finished.

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What do you call a man with a shovel through his head? Unless he was carrying ID when he died; John Doe.

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Why was the man's foot hot? Because it was stuck in a toaster.

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how come the exorcist eat crème brülé? because that deserves a carlsburg

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A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Q: What do you do when you meet someone new? A: You don`t know and expect me to do so? Get a life!

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How many unicorns does it take to change a light bulb? 17. 11 if its Tuesday.

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Why couldnt Julia find her cat? she has gone crazy from old age, her cat actually died 10 years ago

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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