- Anti Joke

What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

A hemophiliac walks into a bar. Then he dies of internal bleeding.

Why did the Mexican cut his neighbor's lawn? His neighbor cut his lawn the previous week.

tims sty:)

Why did the black basketball team beat the white basketball team? They practiced more

"What starts with an 'F' and ends with 'uck'?" "I don't know, what?" "'Firetruck.'"

Why was six afraid of seven? Seven liked to eat numbers lower than itself.

Q: What genre is the bible? A: Si-fi

Ju... Just why?

Why do white people go to black people's yard sales? Because they know they sale good quality stuff -Travis

Why did Old Man Robert fall down the stairs? Someone kicked him down. And then he died.

what has wings, bald but doesn't fly? a bald eagle... i lied at the flying part because i'm a f*cking lier from hell watching porn all day with my brother...

A man walks into his house only to find someone in the livingroom touching the stereo. He then goes up to his wife, and kisses her.

What's the difference between a tigar and a shark? One's a land mammal.

whats fluffy and pink? -pink fluff whats blue and fluffy? -pink fluff holding its breath.

Why little Susie often molested as a child? She was probably a good-looking child.

What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

Q. How many lemons does one person take to fill a ladder? A. Fish

What is orange and sounds like a parrot? A Carrot.

How do you make an electrician fall over? You hit him hard with a lamp

What did the Mexican, the European, and the Canadian all have in common? They weren't used in this joke the last time someone posted it on anti-joke.com.

This boy. We shall call him George. George was skating down the street when he passed the market. George stopped and looked in when he saw this SWEET pair of shoes! They were priced for 20 bucks. So George rushed home and went to his dad who was mowing the lawn. "DAD DAD!" "what?" The dad said. "I FOUND THESE SWEET PAIR OF SHOES! Can you lend me 20 bucks?" His dad shook his head and George ran inside the house and went up to his mom who was washing the dishes. "Mom can you lend me 20 bucks for these sweet shoes?" His mom just looked at him funny and said, "No". Angry, George set off upstairs to his sister's room who was on the computer. "Sis can you lend me...." "GET OUT OF MY ROOM!!" She slammed the door in his face. George sighed and went to his room. But before he got to his door, he saw a 20 dollar bill on the floor. He picked it up and rushed to the store. Once he got the shoes he ran back home to his dad. "Dad DAD! Look at these.." He stopped and saw his dad that was under the lawnmower dead. George shrugged and went inside to his mom. "Mom mom! Look at these...." He stopped and saw that his mom was stuffed in the dishwasher, dead. George sighed and ran upstairs to show his sis. "Hey sis look at...." She was found with her head in the computer screen, dead. So George sighed and walked down to the living room. He plumped on the couch and wondered about how his family died. Then there was a knock on the door. George hesitated. It knocked again. He got up and went to the door. Opened it and out stood a penguin. He stared at the penguin. "What do you want?!" The penguin stared back. What did he say?????? Nothing penguins can't talk.

But I like being mean and angry! Nevermind, 158 according to Mensa`s standard bullshit test (my wife got 160, I remember we argued a lot over it because I kept insisting they would not use the same predictable pattern again... I overestimated them wildly I can make more advanced stuff than they can, and in no way do I consider myself "The worlds elite required to ensue the future survival and salvation of mankind`s finest and fittest" those fucking arrogant suckers,,,) Below average in any test including American presidents and historical events. Aaand about 450 in any bullshit online test which then offers you "more accurate tests" which cost money and probably destroys the fake confidence any idiot buying such a test in the first place might have built up,

So a white president,a mexican president, and a black president,are on a plane and its going down. The white president wishes he was a dove, and he flies away to safety. Then the mexican president wishes he was an eagle and he flies away to safety. Then the black president falls out the plane and says o s**t and turns into poop.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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