two men walked into a bar the last one ducked

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Why did the man's legs start shaking when he saw the attractive women? There was an earthquake

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

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What does Helen Keller order at McDonalds? Food.

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How do you get a Jew in a car? Ask him to get in. How do you get him out? (If they say tell him to get out) Tell him Hitler is driving (If not) Ask him to kindly step out of the vehicle.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Two penguins are in the shower. One of them asks if he can have the soap. The other responds, "What am I, a telephone?"

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yo mamas like a chicken hut all the cock* fly in

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I'm on the seafood diet, a large proportion of my daily food intake consists of fish.

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Two black men walk into a Ku Klux Klan meeting. they are immediately lynched by the mob who hates them

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Q: What's the worst part of 3 Mexicans dying in a car accident? A: They were my friends.

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Whats the similairity between a dog and a cat? They're both cats, except for the dog.

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Q: What's worse than seeing a scorpion A: being stung by that scorpion

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A: u wanna die B: that is a stupid question because unless u are suicidal u will not, retorical or not A: i do wanna die B: u should get some help u freak person a never did get help, while walking to a certivied psychiatrict evaluater he got hit by a truck. his body can be found at the intersection of church and flatbush, brooklyn. JK he got shot, he was in brookly, duh.

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- Knock knock. - Who's there? - I am. - I am who? - You are Steve. - Indeed.

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Why did the boy get hit by the ice cream truck? The driver of the ice cream truck was drunk

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Where did the kittens go on their class filed trip? Nowhere, animals are not permitted to enter a museum unless they are eye seeing dogs helping a person who lacks vision.

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What killed the name cool? Coolio

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What starts with F and ends in U C K? firetruck What starts with P and ends in O R N? popcorn What only costs 5 cents on weekends? your mom

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what did the single guy with no arms get for christmas? porn.

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Whats funnier than 24? 25

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What did the black man say to the asian? Hey.

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i hate christians and muslims, until drugs are involved. iduno what dat is, i try it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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