My kids are mistakes.

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A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

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How do you get a blind man out of a tree? Yes.

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Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

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whats brown and sticky? shit

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what do you get when you see jonny cry-a monkey lol

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What do people say when a dyslesic person scores a goal in soccer good job that was a nice goal

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

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What did the black man in a white 2007 Jeep Wrangler when he went over the speed limit? A speeding ticket

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My mate mated with my mate's mate. mated of course meaning fucked.

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What's black, white and red all over? A nun in a blender

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Donald Trump

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Why couldn't the chicken cross the road? It had no legs.

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What is the most dangerous day of the week to leave the house? Garbage day. Moral: Or rather GAAAAAAAAAARBAAAAAGE DAAAAAAAAAAAAY! *BANG BANG BANG* >:D

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PLEASE LIKE TO DONATE 50 CENTS TO MY CHARIDY .... SAVE THE PENGUINS IN AFRICA -BY LUKE BRANIFF

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a woman came back from a long vacation, one of her male employes noticed that her breast were much larger, "wow, did you get a boob job?" he asked. she replied "no i have breast cancer"

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I was looking out the window on a Sunday morning. The coffee was fresh, and the air was moist. I had recieved a phone call last night on the contents of a briefcase that was to be left on my front door today. The explination was vague, and I was told to enjoy my last day. Then I died.

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what did the mushroom say to the other mushroom? nothing, mushrooms can't talk

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John has 32 candy bars, he eats 28..what does he have now? Diabetes.

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What did the little boy get for Christmas? A pair of broken sunglasses, because his parents didn't care about him, and because he lived in Hawaii where it is very hot in December. Plus the kid's blind. By Nikhil Sridhar of Taikoo Shing, Hong Kong.

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A black guy gets a job...

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. Why did the man get a check in the mail every month? Cause he's black Why did Obama Cross the road? Cause he lost control of congress why is there all this blank space?

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what is long hard and full of seamen......... A sumbirine..........................(what were you thinking)

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A rapist is asked to teach a kindergarden class. The kids learn many things and have a great day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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