I came to the bar at 7:00. What time did I leave at? There was no clock at the bar I went to, therefore i cannot determine when I left or when I cmae, so my above opinion is clearly incorrect.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

Why does history repeat itself? Because no one listened to it the first time.

Q. How are a bird and a turtle alike? A. They both fly. Except the turtle.

What did the priest tell his son? Nothing, priests can't have children.

who is gay for wild ones- Ryan Mcgggguigan

What do a gas and a liquid have in common? Nothing

knock knock get lost!

Why is it pointless to brutally kill and dismember a Japanese man? You'd be satisfying his sexual fetish.

How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Because they're dead, they cant screw in a light bulb. Even if they were alive, it would be highly improbable that a baby could screw in a light bulb.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear? The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

Adam ci ?mierdz?cy kutas mi sie ya mam

Why did the cat bite its owner's? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf."

Why did the wife leave her husband? Because they were having sexual differences and time restraints. The husband worked nightshifts as a nurse while the woman stayed home and took care of their child. The husband confessed he never wanted a child in the first place, and that having sexual intercourse with her didn't truly satisfy him.

What did the engineer say to the supervisor? Hi.

How many jews can you fit into a car? 2 in the front, 2 in the back, and a thousand in the ash tray.

whats the difference between a black guy, spook and a porch monkey? they are all stupid, stinky, n-i-g-g-e-r-s!

Here is an opposite. Black Santa Claus.

a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o q r s t u v w x y z i left out p.

Who took the last can of soda? I dunno.

A dyslexic agnostic insomniac stays up at night wondering if there's a dog.

Chuck Norris doesn't wait in traffic, he takes the subway

What makes you hate life and feel good at the same time? A rapist.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...