whats the difference between a black guy and and an asian person... who cares kill them both

thumb_up thumb_down +15

(SPOILER ALERT) The following are a few punchlines: "I didn't know what you did, but I stepped on a duck!" "I can't believe I just blew thirty bucks!" "Hold on buddy, I'm about to save you $10,000" "To get to the other side!" "Because 7, 8, 9!" "She had no arms!" "A fridge!" "I don't have Ferrari in my garage!" "The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go!" "And if it wasn't for my horse, I wouldn't have spent that year in college!" "It was stapled to the chicken!" "I proved it to him." "The holocaust" "Red paint" "A stick." "I wished for a big orange head." "No." "A bicycle is an object and a black man is a human being." "A pilot." "The papa tomato steps on him and says ketchup." "You left your engine running!" "That's what she said." "TV watches you!" "I think so Brain, but where will we get that many cucumbers at this time of night?" "Rectum? Damn near killed him!" "One but it takes two episodes and the bald guy dies."

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's black and hangs from a rope on a tree in my backyard? A tire swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's the difference between a cat and a banana? Bananas don't scream as much when you peel them.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

laughter is the best medicine, unless you have cancer...you will die

thumb_up thumb_down +15

What's worse than the holocaust? Two holocausts What's worse than two holocausts? Twilight

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why was Jessica sad? She had just recently run over a few newborn puppies with her car.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

(for comedians) I went to a coffee shop the other day. I ordered a coffee then sat down. Behind me there were two people talking. I didn't eves drop because it's impolite so I drank my coffee and left.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the New York Times cancel Otis Redding's subscription? Because he died.

thumb_up thumb_down +15

Why did the black man cross the road? Black people don't exist.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Who could be happier than a kid at a candyshop? A necrophiliac in a morgue

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Is it colder on a farm than in the winter?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

what did the boy with no hands get for christmas Gloves!!! just kidding i dont know he hasnt opened the box yet

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Think of a fruit that isn't an orange ... You're thought of a pear, didn't you?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock who's there no one

thumb_up thumb_down +13

If you rape a prostitute is it shop lifting?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Roses are red, violets are blue God made me beautiful, how about you?

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Knock knock. who's there? Alex. GO AWAY!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What did the hungry man do? He ate.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Whats worse than losing your car keys? Watching your 4 year old son get visciously raped by a 20stone sex hungry pedophile and knowing you cant do anything about it because the sex hungry pedophile is your dad and he is the alpha male of the family so he has full mating rights.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What happened to the kid who couldn't swim? He drowned.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

knock knock! who is there? its knock! knock who??? knock knock... who is there.... i told you its knock... knock who??? knock knock... WHO IS THERE!! OMG I TOLD YOU ITS KNOCK! KNOCK WHO!! WHO IS KNOCK! KNOCK KNOCK OMG WTF! HOLY SHIT WHO IS THERE! ITS KNOCK WE HAVE KNOWN EACH OTHER OUR WHOLE LIVES! KNOCK WHO?? KNOCK KNOCK WHY DONT YOU REMEMBER ME! oh knock knock from next door! who is there???? jk.. knock...knock......omg put down the gun knock knock stop i love you knock its not worth it!! NO KNOC!!! GUNSHOT* KNOCK NOOOOO!!! I LOVED YOU SOMEONE CALL 911!! OMG KNOCK WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OH KNOCK WHY!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +13

What is worse than getting stung by a bee? Watching your mother getting raped by your sister.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops