Knock knock Who's there? Impatient Hellen Keller. Impatient Hellen Keller who? ...

Why are there no swimming pools in Mexico? The average yearly income is $3,523, and pool chemicals are very expensive.

What's the difference in a red sports car and a pile of dead babies? I don't have a red sports car in my garage.

You read the Terms of Service.

What do you get when you stab a four year old in the chest 57 times A dead body

roses are red, violets are red, a girl had her period in my garden.

Why did the boy die? He had cancer.

What do you call an elephant and a rhino mixed? Ahellifiknow.

Your biggest fan.

What did the Japanese man do to the pizza? He ate it.

When Santa got stuck up the chimney he began to shout.. But he didn't shout for long as he soon succumbed to the toxic smoke and died of carbon monoxide poisoning

There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They were driving with a gorilla when suddenly the car crashed. All the women died but only the gorilla survived. The police investigated with the gorilla and did some simple sign language. The police, using hand motions, asked the gorilla what each individual female was doing before the car crashed. The gorilla ran away for reasons unknown.

What do you call it when a woman doesn't want the child she is currently impregnated with? Abortion: a very sensitive and controversial topic.

On a deserted island in the middle of nowhere three women have just been in a horrible boat wreck. They are okay and alive. One is a lovely smart brunette. An appealing ginger. And a blond.. named Becky. They take shelter when one of them notices a shimmer in the sand. They pick it up to discover that it was a golden lamp. They rub it and a blue cloud of smoke consumes them. Then a magnificent Guinnie appears and says "You have awoken me from my 10,000 year encasement inside that lamp! I shall grant you 3 wishes to show you my sincere gratitude." The brunette wishes for a plane so she can fly home. The ginger wishes for a boat to sail back home. The blonde was lonely so she wished that the brunette and the ginger were back with her.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Probably because that's where all of the other chickens are.

When u r using ur computer and then all the sudden it says reload and something about an error blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah .. ......blah blah blah. Blah blah. Your response: "AWWWWW BITCH ASS FUCK U"......*LEAVES ROOM*..... (HOUR LATER)*COMES BACK IN THE ROOM* "Oh hey, Meet my bff she is from your version of Hell her name is , Vir-is (virus) anyways Vir-is wanted to have sex with u and probably give u a USB Transmitted Disease A.K.A. virus then wwhile u r rebooting Vir-is and I is gonna kill u Toodles

Student: May i go to the toilet? Teacher: What for? Student: To open the chamber of secrets!

What did the guy say to the blonde? "You're a blonde."

A man stand's on a chair Then he fall's off

Why did the blind kid hit the other kid in the face? He was trying to give him a high-five.

Why is Kyle so gay. Nobody knows

Are you related to Yoda? because yoda-licious!!!!

Can Helen Keller keep a secret? No, she didn't hear it in the first place

Two gorillas walked into a bar and it hurt

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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