What do a blond and a jar of marmalade have in common? Nothing, they are completely different.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you get black children to stop jumping on the bed? Tell them it's not allowed and that consequences will ensue if the rules are not followed.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is Ciaran Wilkie Gay

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Have you seen the 6th sense? Nope, is it good? Yeah Bruce Willis is dead

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the women call 911 on her 12 year old son? Because he was schizophrenic and attempting to commit suicide by hanging himself.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Hey, you are competitive, but let me have the last word here and you will like it. If you keep poking your nose constantly, the effect will actually overlap, making it stronger and stronger, by all means though, make sure you keep some nose working alright?

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How do you get out of editable poly? You don't.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Whats fuzzy and pink? A pink fuzz ball

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did one barstool say to the other what theres a butt on me

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? Boy scouts come back from camp.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

There was an english man, and irishman and an pakistani sitting in a bar. What a wonderful example of racial & cultural differences bing put to one side while they are socialising in a friendly environment.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Harry Styles

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Why didn't suzie eat? Because she wasn't hungry

thumb_up thumb_down -11

What's worse than a baby in a blender? Two babies in a blender

thumb_up thumb_down -11

once there where 3 guys on a beach. they found a bottle and a fetis came out.. later they found out 2 of the 3 had cancer and the 3rd was a vegetable.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Wh did Steve Jobs invent the iPhone? Because he was smart.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

I hate it when I go running and my diick always gets road rash from being dragged So I cut it off

thumb_up thumb_down -11

42

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Whats worse than being raped? Being raped and murdered.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

how do you beat the system? throw your xbox out a window.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

purple pickles

thumb_up thumb_down -11

If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

thumb_up thumb_down -11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops