Two scientists are experimenting with sulfuric acid. One scientist says to the other, "Did you see the new intern?" In the process of turning to face the first scientist, the second scientist knocks the beaker over and spills sulfuric acid all over the first scientist's hand. The first scientist writhes in pain as the second scientist rushes to find a strong base to neutralize the burn. After a few minutes, the first scientist is rushed off to the emergency room and suffers from some serious chemical burns.

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If the red house is made out of red bricks, the yellow house is made out of yellow bricks, and the blue house is made out of blue bricks, what is the greenhouse made of? Ah, I see what you did there. You are expecting me to follow the sequence based on how each house is made out of bricks the same color as their title. However, I am one step ahead of you and I know that the greenhouse is made out of glass panels. But what if it were made out of green glass panels? Then, I suppose, the sequence could continue naturally yet we still have a problem of units - bricks vs. glass. Quite the dilemma we are facing.

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How do you kill an already dead man? You don't he's already dead.

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Yo mama so fat - - That your dad left her, and it's tearing your family apart

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Why is Santa fat? Because the apples are red.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs in the middle of a lake? Dead.

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What do you call a black person riding a bicycle? A black person riding a bicycle.

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i have an apple. now suck my dick

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ive got it ive got ive got outsimers to tonight wow bim bim bub bub za za

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What did the children in India eat for dinner?

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roses are red violets are blue ur family is dead and u will die too

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Your momma's so fat that she is at risk for heart disease and diabetes.

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

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why was the black man wearing a ski mask? he was skiing.

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Why did Joe wake up screaming? Because his wife cut off his penis.

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Why was the guy with six fingers called John? His name was John.

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Religion.

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What's spongy and smells of treacle? Treacle sponge

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Why did the girl fall She didn't she was eaten by a bear

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Why was the kid picking his nose. Because someone shoved a bomb in it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gun store to buy a gun. After years of abuse and mockery, he was tired of being called "chicken", and was going to shoot up the entire school

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread

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A man walked into a bar, he was meeting his friends but was half an hour early, so he went down the road and got a burger. He had recently began dieting to maintain a healthy weight, but had trouble with self control. 30 years later he would gamble away his family's life savings and then go onto live a long and unfulfilled life.

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A black guy and a white guy both get pulled over by a cop for speeding. The white guy is promptly released with a stern warning, whle the black guy is thouroughly questioned and has his car searched for drugs, with the probable cause being that the black guy has bloodshot eyes, reeks of weed and has a bong in his frontseat.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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