Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? There aren't pineapples in the ocean.

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How do you suppress a black hole? Surround it with white holes

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Whats better then free candy from a guy in a van? Trying to find his lost puppy so his kids don't cry.

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A man walks into a bar, muttering to himself. People stare at him because his severe Schizophrenia makes him stand out in social situations.

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Whats worse then getting stabbed in the trachea by a aids infected knife? getting pounded anally by satan

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Why is six afraid of seven? Seven is a Nazi.

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Text me back when you can. I can't, my fingers got amputated.

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What Do You Call The White House When Obama Is President? What? The White House.

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Why did the little boy cry? Because he stuck his finger into a blender

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a convicted rapist.

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Your momma so fat, she's fat

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Why couldn't the blonde read the road map? Because she was blindfolded and tied up in the trunk.

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If life gives you lemons, throw them at people.

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Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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What would Jesus do? Do? You mean like do it? You have a dirty mind.

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columbus laid an egg. he was very proud of it, but the other dudes ate it.

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Mam: Wanna hear a joke about my penis?... nevermind, it's to long. Woman: wanna hear a joke about my vagina?... nevermind, u wouldn't get it.

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Whats black, white, and red all over? A severely beaten and bruised man who was found un conscience and robbed in a dark parking lot behind Dennys at 2 o'clock in the morning.

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man said "he has a pulse". The operator then calmly stated "we are sending a helicopter to air lift him out of there as we speak". The man got helicoptered to the nearest ER, and the doctors did their best to save him. He ended up having to go on life support for three years until his family members finally decided to pull the plug. The medical insurance didn't cover life support and the family went broke because of it.

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When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

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Cheese stick

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

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what's the difference between a jew and a pizza? Nazis did't burn the pizza

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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