Why does Jeremy Kyle love his job? Because he gets to make idiots look like bigger idiots.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Q:What did the giraffe say to the sunflower? A:I like your shoelaces!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the ground beef taste funny? Because little Timmy fell in the grinder.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How do you stop a clown from smiling? Hit him in the face with an ax.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

There is more than one way to skin a cat. I used a potato skin peeler.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Friends are like snow; they disappear when you pee on them.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

There were three men standing outside. They were enjoying the nice weather.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What can make you pee? Liquid

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I'm schizophrenic. And so am I!

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the iceberg say when Titanic crashed on it? "Yeah!"

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walks into a bar, muttering to himself. People stare at him because his severe Schizophrenia makes him stand out in social situations.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why wasn't the man hungry? Because he just ate a thousand almonds.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What did the cat say when it stepped in poo? Meow.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Person 1-How do you spell pulmonary embolism? Person 2-P-U-L-M-O-N-A-R-Y E-M-B-O-L-I-S-M. Person 1- Thanks. Person 2- Your Welcome.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why was the man attracted to other men? Because he was gay, and that is typically what happens when people are attracted to members of the same sex, and it is as natural as a man being attracted to women.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

A man walked on the street where he saw an other man. The two men said: "Hi!" to each other and walked together down the road. Then one of the men got ran over by a car. The other man said: "ROFL".

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Bumsniffer

thumb_up thumb_down -5

What word is 7 letters long, is composed of the letters N,G,G,E,R, and S, and stands for a group of people who annoy the crap out of you? NAGGERS.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock knock Come in

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Q: What did the Goth-Punk girl write on her test for the question "What are three kinds of rock?" A: Igneous, Sedimentary, & Metamorphic, She is a 4.0 Geology Major attending a respectable University. She simply chooses to express herself through the musical and clothing trends that emerged in 1970's English underground music. In reality it her personal preferences in the aforementioned areas have no bearing on her intellectual or academic standing.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Why did the man walk into the bar? To purchase alcoholic beverages ready for consumption.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How many babies does it take to paint a wall? I don't know it depends on how hard you throw them.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Knock Knock. Whose there? The Police, you wife died in a car accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -5

How do you shoot a basketball? With your hands

thumb_up thumb_down -5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops