A man goes to a doctor and says , "My arm hurts in 3 places." the doctor says, "Dont go to those places.

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They see me rollin' Up my sleeve for some volunteer work at the local shelter

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How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

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Two guys walk into a bat, they have a couple drinks then go home, one crashed and died in a horrible drunk driving accident. The other, who took a cab, went home and viciously beat his wife.

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What do you get when you cross drugs with a bathtub? Whitney Houston's worst nightmare

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Why did Santa's little helper feel depressed? Neurotransmitters essential for happiness, such as serotonin and norepinephrine, were in rather low supply in the poor elf's brain.

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There's my tractor.

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Women's rights...

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set? Because she didn't.

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What is funnier than onion gravy? Mushroom gravy.

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Whats faster that a Mexican with your TV? A speeding bullet.

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What do you call a bunch of black people hanging out in a barn? African American farmers socializing.

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A man in a wheelchair walks into a bar... ...wait a second.

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Awesome! I've just received my free minecraft giftcode! >> minecraftnow.us <<

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a dead baby joke? Dead baby jokes aren't funny.

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How hard is it to cross a man with a tree? Jesus only needed a few nails

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why did the 60 year old touch the little boy's penis? because he was a pedophile.

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Why did Old Man Robert fall down the stairs? Someone kicked him down. And then he died.

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Mary once had a boyfriend with a wooden leg; however, itt was a highly dysfunctional relationship, as the boyfriend was much too possessive of Mary. So Mary was forced to bring a close to the relationship.

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Whats sadder than a lost baby deer? Im too lazy too think of the rest of the joke.

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A nig-ger walked up to a lemonade stand and he said to the man running the stand. "do you have any lemonade" the man said "no. we don't serve nig-gers lemonade. but you can drink your own piss boy, thats home made.." the nig-ger waddled away (waddle waddle) till the very next day. The nig-ger walked up to the lemonade stand with a lawsuit file right in his hand and said "you are legally required to serve me lemonade" the man said "fu(k you nig-ger, go back to where you came go back to Africa it's full of aids" the nig-ger said "goodbye".... i'm too lazy too finish this off so i'll spoil the ending, the nig-ger was actually a smelly pakistanian, which was actually a dirty chi-nk in costume. let's just say lawsuits were filed but the lemonade stand owner had casey anthony's lawyer and in the end never had to serve fu-cking nig-gers, smelly pakies or dirty chin-ks again :) The End. Happily Ever After.

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Who lives on 2324 Elm St. River Grove Illinois? And Goes to East Leyden High School? The answer is Ricky Krajewski. He is 16 years old has brown hair and brown eyes. 5'11" 190lbs and 6.5 inch penis(when erect). social security # is 679-78-6283.

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What doesn't kill you and doesn't make you stronger? Aids

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What did Johnny do this wednesday? He went to school to be academically taught to get a high GPA of all the other children so he could go and pursuit his dream so he won't be left at home with a drunk wife and 6 kids with $190,000 in debt from the IRS

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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