What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

What did the pillow say to the dragon? Nothing, because pillows don't talk, dragons aren't real and this is a highly improbable circumstance.

What's funnier than the holocaust? Nothing.

Two muffins are in an oven. After a set period of time, they finish baking and are enjoyed by the family who had made them. Two weeks later the eldest daughter contracts syphilis thanks to numerous sexual partners. She soon dies leaving her parents and brother depressed. Her brother is kidnapped by a viscous child predator and the mother commits suicide. The father gets a job with the New York Yankees. He is eaten by a genetically modified zebra.

whats small and tickles? pubic lice

What's dry and unpleasant to eat? Sand.

My name is Jacob Mckeand and my penis is as long as Mr. Macs hair.

I donated to Kony 2012. Litterally to Kony. I approve of his actions.

What happends to a monkey without arms.. He bleeds..

I went to the zoo the other day there was only one dog in it, it was a shitzu. By Nathan Luque CARROTS!!!

How do you stop a canadian from saying eh? Kill it...

What did the doctor say to the female car crash victim? Nothing she was dead when he walked in the room.

What's funnier than 24? 25

In soviet Russia, your dead because it doesn't exist anymore

You know what they say... Big feet Lawn-mower

Okay, so your school has a fire drill, and a ginger asks why the alarm went off. You reply, “Some new kid saw your hair and pulled the fire alarm

A. Knock Knock. B. Who's there? A. Orange. B. Orange who? A. Orange you glad your retarded because you think oranges can talk?

Why did the blonde flunk out of school? Because she was a fucking idiot.

Yo mommas so fat... that when it was rainning, she put on her rain coat and went outside, everyone was saying that the sun came up

How did the mom quiet her screaming baby? She threw it out the window.

Your mother is so fat. But I'm fine with it.

What's white and black and lives in the ghetto : a panda bear

Why didn't the woman make sandwiches? She was making baguettes.

Dad, they tell me I am a slowpoke at school, what can I do? ... Eh son, this is mommy, your dad died ten years ago remember?

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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