A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

thumb_up thumb_down -7

ACT 2 CHAPTER 4 GEARS OF WAR 3 TICKER EASTER EGG.... MICHAEL VICKS HOUSE

thumb_up thumb_down -7

An abortionist secretly fancies himself pro life, with reservations. Overwhelmed, and utterly fed up, with the burden of carrying on the family business, he aborts himself. Although he was only 46, his frail mother was nevertheless proud of his decision to succeed where she had failed 46 years ealier.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the mailman deliver the wrong mail to people's houses? He's a bad mailman.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Your momma;s so fat she stepped on the scale and said one at a time please!

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the boy sharpen his pencil it was dull

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A bear and a rabbit sits by a small lake in the forest, taking a shit. After a while, the bear asks the rabbit: "Do you have problems with shit hanging from you fur after you're done?" The Rabbitm ponders, and responds: "No, bear. I really don't". Than the bear wiped his ass with some moss.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What does a eagle and a bunny have in common.. nothing they're two different animals.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

what is worse than the holocaust. interracial relationship, cough..... oli

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Ed Milliband looks like an amphibian.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Nock nock Whos there? The mailman, I have a package for you. Thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the cat have hair? Because he did.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A man looks both ways before crossing the street he gets hit by an airplane

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the black kid with one leg read the Iliad? Because it was part of his homework assignment?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Do you know what Chuck Norris does for a living? He's an actor, I also heard he's quite good with martial arts.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

A woman walks into a doctor's office and says "Doctor, my water just broke." The doctor replies "Get off my carpet."

thumb_up thumb_down -7

How do you stop an alcoholic from drinking ? You leave him in the desert for 4 days, eventually he'll die from dehydration .

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's green and fuzzy, and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? A pool table.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Why did the duck cross the road? Because he wanted to. Problem, AntiJoke community?

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What Do You Call a Black Man With a Gun?? A Cop

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What's inside that man's house? Atoms.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

thumb_up thumb_down -7

whats more serious than rape the holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down -7

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops