Feeling that your friends do not listen to your insightful conversations? BUY A PARROT! Teach it to say "Uhuh", and "Ahah", and "Dats coo!" NOW YOU CAN BE COMPLETELY APRECIATED BY A FUCKING BIRD THAT DOES NOT KNOW WHAT YOU ARE SAYING... ...BUT IS IT... APPRECIATING IT? DUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUN DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN! MYSTERY!

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? The screams were loud. It was just one big fire behind him. He and his fellow chickens had been trapped. They thought they were being freed... They thought wrong. The guards herded them in and then the heat started. The fires began to rage. His friends, his allies, his brothers, were falling dead, burning, beside him. He had to escape. He did not think, only acted. Lashing out at the guard, he knocked him down and ran. He ran and ran until he could run no more, and he still kept running. He could still hear his brothers' screams. He could still see their faces burning before his eyes. He reached the road, and finally stopped. He looked around. The screams had stopped. The heat had left his body. But then another sound came. Yelling. The guards. They were following him. He tried to keep running. But he just couldn't. He was finished. He fell on the road, sliding himself along as quickly as he could. He hadn't run this far to be caught by the guards. He stopped. He could go no further. He looked up and saw the blue sky, cloudless and free. The last thing he heard was a roaring engine. The guards never found his body.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why did the chicken cross the road? His sons funeral was on the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Knock, Knock. Who's there? No reply cause Kyle got knocked out by the door.

thumb_up thumb_down +6

Why was a small girl found dead in the town park? Because Sallie was a bitch and deserved to die.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Justin Bieber.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A momma cow was grazing in the meadow with her three calves when the first one asked, "Mom, how did I get the name Rose? "Well when you were born, a rose pedal came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The second calf asked, "How did I get the name Daisy?" "Well when you were born, a daisy came floating in the breeze and landed on your head." The third calf mumbled, "LKJLSKJFSLKJLKSJDF" incoherently, and the Mom responded, "Shut up, Cinderblock."

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock Whos there? It's me Ben. You just told me to come over. We are going jogging aren' we? Oh ya, sorry. I forgot the time. Is it cold out? Ya, it is pretty cold. You should bring a jacket. Ok, let me go get my jacket. Alright, can u grab me a water please? Ya sure. Thankyou.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you know that someone is polish ? They smell funny

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the boy not turn in his homework? Because his pet ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The Pittsburgh Pirates

thumb_up thumb_down +4

your mothers so silly she saw a rock and sat on a chair.......?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Have you ever heard about the black man who got shot my a goat? Neither did I.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

I hate it when I get an erection and it pushes Pluto out of orbit.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The real reason you go to college is.... To learn more about what you want to do in life.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock Knock Who's there? Pussy... Do you get it? Think about what you just answered.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock. Who's there? Alzheimer. Alzheimer who? Knock knock.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Got Milk? Why yes! Yes I do!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man comes home to find his wife in bed with another man. He then joins them.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Excuse me, do you happen to have the time? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A ship wrecks in the South Pacific ocean. Only one man survives. He swims to a semi-deserted island, and is later eaten by the cannibal inhabitants

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why is your dad gay? Because he takes an enjoyment in a mans dick

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happened when the man killed a baby? He was captured by the authorities and sentenced to life in prison.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock no ones home

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops