how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

whats green at the bottom of a hole and covered in cookie crumbs a girl scout run over by a truck

Knock knock! Who's there? A bottle of beer. No thanks, I've been sober for 15 years.

What did Delaware? A coat.

Why do all the Republicans hate Obama? He's a Democrat.

What's the difference between the sky and the ocean? They're both blue

I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

What's the difference between a bomb and a muslim? Nothing. The difference is only apparent. At the fundamental basic building blocks of the universe, everything is made up of quarks.

What is green, slimy and has 8 legs? Uncle Martin

hey do you eat out a woman properly? you cook her first and then eat her. -jeffery dahmers

The real reason you go to college is.... To learn more about what you want to do in life.

What do you do when someone tries to rob you at gunpoint Well first thing you have to do is think why am I in this situation? Then what can I do to avoid this again Finally think about how you're going to pay your medical bill. You were to busy thinking, to notice you just got shot and robbed.

What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming? Here come the elephants.

My kids are mistakes.

A man killed himself.

Why did the black guy get kicked out of school? Because he was poor academically.

what has two legs and is red all over? half a cat

what is racecar backwards in reverse

What do you call the CEO of a successful company? Rich.

knock knock... who's there? your grandmother, now please let me in it's very cold outside. *you now proceed to open the door for your grandmother as she is elderly and you dont want her to freeze

A man dies on the operating table and finds himself in front of the Pearly Gates. St Peter looks at him and says " You are having a hallucination due to all the drugs they have given you and because your brain releases chemicals when you die. I am not real and there is not heaven or a god." Upon resuscitation the man contemplates his hallucination and becomes an Atheist.

what do you call a black man with a job? dont know, has never happened.

Waiter, waiter, there's a fly in my soup! That's not a fly, it's a gnat.

roses are red and have big balls woooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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