What kind of condoms do cows use? None.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road. Because it was hit by a truck.

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There are 2 women at a bus stop. One of them has a swollen belly. The pregnant woman says to the other one, "I'm expecting a baby." The other woman responds, "That's too bad. I'm expecting a bus, at least that'll help me."

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All the other dinosaurs were laughing and teasing the tyrannosaurus because of his tiny arms. They left and the T.rex was sobbing uncontrollably next to a giant fern. "What's the matter little fellow?" said Jesus. The crying dinosaur looked down and said "I That's the end of my stupid puppet show, cuz I couldn't think of anything a blubbering dinosaur would say to our Lord and saviour.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, My name's Dave, Microwave!

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Whats funnier than 24? 25

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What do you get when you mix 5 bottles of beer, a bottle of vodka, 3 glasses of red wine, and 15 jello shots? Alcohol poisoning.

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How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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Why did the clown fall off the swing? He got shot.

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Why did the black man say "I been done did that?" He was speaking ebonics.

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Six Jews get on a train. They all safely arrive at their locations.

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Scenario: A man is being mugged in an alley Mugger: Give me your wallet! I have a gun! Victim: You don't have the balls. Mugger: Oh yeah! I have 3 balls! Victim: Well I have 2, you should probably get that checked.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am disabled, so please help me poo.

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Why did the father beat his daughter? To alleviate stress.

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Why did the Asian man go to bed? Because he was tired

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What do you get when you cross George Bush and Barack Obama? Presidents.

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What's 1+1? 69.

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Why is this room orange? Because I painted it orange. You didn't paint it; my mom painted it.

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Q: How do you make a clown stop laughing? A: Hit it in the face with an axe

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Q. What roles did girls play in the Gold Rush of 1849? A. Miners.

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I am reading the Terms of Service, however I don't fully agree with it's contents.

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If only i were a man! You not! Your a.... WO-MAN!

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Did you hear the one about Helen Keller? No. Well neither did she.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Well it doesn't matter because he got hit by a bus before he could even make it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops