What did mr smith say when a student asked for math help? ok

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Why couldn't the convicted felonist come back to America? He lost his passport.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had previously driven over innocent civilians who were all constipated and had now caused a mild to extremely large shitstorm.

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What's the same between a school bus and a grape? They're both purple. Except for the bus.

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three friends are chilling one day and they all think they belong in Guinness book of world records the first guys says i believe i have the smallest arms in the world, the second guy says i believe i have the smallest nose in the world and the third guy says i hate to admit it but i believe i have the smallest dick in the world. So they all go down to Guinness book of world records inc. and the first guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST ARMS IN THE WORLD" the second guy comes out and says "YES I DO HAVE THE SMALLEST NOSE IN THE WORLD" the third guy comes out all depressed and mad and says "WHO THE HELL IS JUSTIN BIEBER"

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how hight is a china man ? derr his name is how high and he is a china man

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What did the man with AIDS say to the other man? I have AIDS and will most likely succumb to the disease.

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a woman leaves the kitchen.......

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A Muslim walks into a bomb shop. Unfortunately for the bomb shop owner, the Muslim was a police officer. He proceeded to arrest the owner and the employees of the store, as it turned out that the selling of these particular explosive devices were illegal. They ended up in jail, and justice was served.

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200,000 people are homeless! ...this year in america!

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There are two cowboys in the kitchen. One says to the other, "I feel at 'home on the range.'" To which the other replies, "Is that because of your extensive culinary background?" The first cowboy breaks down in tears because he realizes he's not pursuing what he truly loves.

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roses are red voilets are blue my dog stinks and so do you!

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Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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Did you know Hellen Keller Had a pony neither did she

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If the opposite of Pro is Con, whats the opposite of progress?

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why was the Jewish man sad? His wife was brutally murdered, His chilren raped, Parents stabbed horrifically and stuffed with turtles and the doctor just informed him that he had cancer and was due to die 17 minutes ago.

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Women's rights

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A man walks into a bar. Later that night he comes home to an intervention and realizes he has a drinking has hurt him and his family.

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1 pack of bacon 2 fat guys. They both die fighting over it.

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What did my wife say when I asked her to pick up some milk on her way home from work? OK

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You know whats worse than finding 3 dead children in your house? Finding 2 dead children in your house.

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What would Jesus do? Something worthy of having him nailed to a cross.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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