What do you get when you mix red and blue? Gang violence.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Look whos talking Matt Critchley

thumb_up thumb_down +1

What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

thumb_up thumb_down +1

I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How did the man drown the fish? He ate it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you, f*** you.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Why do you not play poker with a cheetah. 1. Animals can't play card games. 2. Cheetahs are carnivores. Think about it.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Roses are red, Violets are red, Holy crap, the garden's on fire.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

black people

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Billy and Suzy sitting in a tree... Billy is gay.

thumb_up thumb_down +1

Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

thumb_up thumb_down -1

I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Why did the koala fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the baby fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the koala.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What's brown and sticky? Turtle excrement.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a lawyer without a brain? -Dead

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the bottom of a pit? Whatever his parents named him.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

What do you call a discounted watercraft? It is traditional to use a female name.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

A baby seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -1

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops