how many babies does it take to paint a barn? depends on how hard you can throw them

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Hitler arrives at his neighbor's barmitzfah... fashionably late.

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What do 9 out of 10 people like? Gang rape.

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*ahem* what? what. oh I thought you said something

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A man goes and buys a head of cabbage. The cabbage had a worm in it. When the man saw the worm, he threw out the cabbage and bought a new one the next time he went to the grocery store.

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What do you get when you mix red and blue? Gang violence.

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I was at work today and whilst staring at my beautiful colleague I realised how hard it had got. So I quit

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Why are you so fat? Cause I eat a lot.

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Look whos talking Matt Critchley

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What's the difference between Izzy and a hobo? Nothing...they both have no job and no friends

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Why did the little girl cry when she fell off the slide? Because when she fell she hit the dirt ground, cause dust to fly into the air, he eyes started to water in response to keep her eyes from being damaged. The slide however, was taken down, too many children had been hurt while playing on it. The community is now pooling money together in order to build a new playground.

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Whats the difference between a jewish man wearing a fedora and glass of almond milk? Ones a glass of almond milk.

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How did the man drown the fish? He ate it.

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Why do you not play poker with a cheetah. 1. Animals can't play card games. 2. Cheetahs are carnivores. Think about it.

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What do you do on Mother's Day? This is not a joke, I don't know what to do.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, f*** you, f*** you.

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Billy and Suzy sitting in a tree... Billy is gay.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Holy crap, the garden's on fire.

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How many wooden chairs can a black man staple to a whales forehead? 27 because Helen Keller does not like blueberries.

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black people

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What did the skeleton say to the vampire? Nothing because a skeleton wouldn't have a larynx.

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Q. What did Nelson say to his men before they boarded ship? A. "Board ship men"

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I once had my heart broken by my first true love. I then died, she was convicted of murder and my family grieved over my death.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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