How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Why does it matter, they can't chuck wood in the first place.

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Why did the Jew have very bad gas? He had very rough anal sex and air got stuck up his bum

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What's Mary short for? She's got no legs.

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Your mother is so fat, when she dives into a pool, the on duty life guard blows his whistle to get her attention. He then proceeds to tell her about the dangers of diving into a pool with the depth of 5ft or less and asks her not to continue her antics. She is not pleased but decides it is best to follow the rules.

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Why did the wealthy black man shoplift from the convenience store? He is a kleptomaniac.

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If a tree falls on a woman and there's no one around to hear her scream why did a tree fall in the kitchen?

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What do you call a black guy driving a bus? A bus driver

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Why was the child lying in the scrap yard? because he was being torn apart by guard dogs.

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What can you eat that comes in all different flavors. Chex mix, I bet you thought it was women but its not its chex mix

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How would I re-arrange the alphabet? I would place P in your butt...

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Where did Susie go during the bombing? EVERYWHERE

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A dog walks into a saloon and says "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw." The patrons are afraid of the talking dog.

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women's rights.

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What did one cow say to the other cow? nothing cows cant talk. They did however, exchange glances while chewing grass next to each other.

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What did the explorer say to the new species Oh look it says squirtle let's call it squirtle Oh look it say woof let's call it poochyena

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how did superman die? he got cought in a plane engine!

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Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

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Roses are red, violets are red, Tulips are red, bushes are red.... WTF MY GARDEN'S ON FIRE.

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I didn't choose the thug life... I got a job.

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set an alarm for a reasonable hour.

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irish wristwatch JLR

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What do you call something that has two legs, arms and is bloody all over? My ex's new boyfriend.

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Do you like your life? No. OK.

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So there is a blind man... and he walks past a fish market and takes a deep breath and says"Oh boy it sure does smell like fish out here".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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